So Funny I Can Cry
by Yukisora
Summary: Sora: Riku, my best friend who confessed to me in a bath. Cloud: Leon, the guy who nearly raped me for a book. Tidus: Selphie, the girl of my dreams who hates my guts because I mistook her for a football. Roxas: Axel, uh..the guy who jumped into my pants.
1. RikuSora: A Prelude to the Start

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters, or the original plot. Ownership belongs to Disney and SquareEnix. This was a written work created by a fan, for fans, and was written without the intentions of monetary gains. This disclaimer pertains to all future chapters, too! (:

**Yuki Notes:** A rewrite of the old story "So Funny I Can Cry", with a new title, new writing style, and new sequences. Old readers who are familiar with the original version – I _strongly_ suggest you all to reread everything starting from chapter one. There aren't really any significant changes to chapter one but, starting from chapter two, you'll start seeing a deviation from the original tale.

_Oh, and a quick pre-reading note! __**I finally have a livejournal that I keep on a daily basis!**_ Check my profile for the link and more information! :D

_Happy Reading! _

**CIRCUMSTANCES OF LOVE**

By: Yukisora

**PART ONE **

_**Chapter 01: A Prelude to the Start**_

There had been a gleeful kind of mean in the air. The skies clashed, a thunderous roar of black and white as lightning flashed and struck, a defiant hammering against the rolling waves, into the sea. Wind and rain clawed, howls of pure fury as the entire surrounding raged. Enormous waves stretched higher and higher, growing into the darkened skies with its looming clouds and terrifying thunder. It ripped at the teetering yacht, struck the middle of it, as sea water hammered the once gleaming deck. A sharp ring, metal against stone, clang in the air, a clear and final warning from Mother Nature to man.

Run. Find cover. _Hide_.

Unheeding of all this, nearly deaf to the sea and the winds, a single boy ran. His lungs were on fire. His muscles screamed for him to stop. Taking in a large gulp of breath, tasting the salt from the sea and tangy, bitter taste that came from pure fear, he continued to run. Frantic aquamarine eyes scanned the deck desperately. Someone was screaming, a hoarse and panicked cry. He didn't recognize the hysterical shrieks as his own, couldn't recognize anything past that dreadful panic that was all but choking him. He had but one thought in his mind: He had to find him. He _had_ to.

"Sora! Where are you! _Sora!_"

Jolting out of the padded chaise he'd been lounging on, Riku gulped in the familiar scent of salty sea air as his infamous aquamarine eyes flew open. It took him a second, perhaps two, to remember where he was. Letting out a breath, he swallowed a little as his heart continued to beat, desperately hammering to get oxygen back into his system, as the nightmare—no, the memory—flashed across his mind.

Choking back the bile, he deliberately breathed in the salty scent. The sky was indescribably blue, the white, fluffy clouds a stark contrast against the horrible thunderclouds in his memory. Calm. The seawater was calm today. The couple of seagulls overhead cooed at one another as they glided lazily through the heated summer air.

Cursing silently to himself, Riku Thanatos waved at one of the passing pool boys and ordered a drink. He didn't care what it was, the drink, as long as it could wash down the disgusting taste of fear that remain stuck on the back of his throat. It annoyed him that, after all these years, he still dreamed about that night whenever he's on a boat.

He'd found Sora in the end, hadn't he? That was all that mattered. They had huddled behind those crates, too terrified of the storm to brave the run back to the safety of their rooms. He couldn't remember how long they huddled together, with the crash of the storm raging overhead. He didn't remember how they had been eventually rescued; neither did he recall the high fever they both suffered afterward. But he did remember the fear. A suffocating, bone chilling fear that he wouldn't find him. That he was gone. That Riku had been too late.

It had been a miserable way, overall, for Riku to realize just how desperately in love with his best friend, Sora, he was. His very innocent, very oblivious, very _male_ best friend.

A sigh escaped him as trained eyes spotted a nest of very familiar cinnamon-brown hair. Shifting his shades more comfortably on the bridge of his nose as the pool boy hurried back with his drinks, Riku nodded his thanks as he slowly dropped back onto the chaise. The sight of his best friend's familiar sapphire gaze soothed the last of the fear from his mind. Smirking a little, Riku let his gaze sweep down south, past that slender waist, and further down to Sora's rather gangly legs.

Three…two…one…

On cue, the brunette stumbled, bumped into a nearby pool boy, bowed once in apology, and flashed a smile that could dazzle the sun.

Laughing silently into his drink, Riku shook his head slightly as he marveled at the wonder that was his best friend. If he was completely honest, Riku couldn't objectively say that Sora was breathtakingly beautiful. Granted, Sora, with his deep-set blue eyes (ones that reminisced the sapphire skies for which he was named), _did_ have one of the most arresting gaze he'd ever seen. When those twin gems of pure lapis lazuli honed in on you, they could quite literally steal your breath away. In contrast to this stunning feature, his hair, a myriad of colors ranging from light brown to ebony black, was usually a mess of spikes—a result from his natural tendency to avoid to comb. Add a set petal soft lips set on a heart shaped face in skin tones that would have made the French half of Sora's ancestry weep, most people would have termed the teen _cute_, at least, and _pretty_, at most.

And yet, as the cinnamon haired teen stopped before him, sheepish smile in place, Riku couldn't deny the sudden skip in his heart; nor could he prevent his own eyes from drinking in every feature. And the term _"beautiful"_ immediately flittered across his mind.

"There you are," Sora bubbled, as he plopped down onto one of the chairs beside Riku. Surveying the deck of one of the most luxurious cruise in the world, the brunette dismissed his heavenly surroundings and waved for a drink. "Kairi and I have been looking _all over_ for you!" he said, as he nodded at the pool boy. "A smoothie, please. Any flavor." Turning back to Riku he added, "We actually have a bit of a s—" Stopping suddenly, Sora tilted his head in confusion as he finally took note of Riku's appearance. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Quickly replacing the shades back on, Riku made a show of sipping casually on his drink as he willed his shoulders to relax. The one thing about Sora was that the teen was entirely too intuitive when it came to Riku's "issues".

Frowning slightly at the too quickly answered response, the brunet reached forward and jabbed his friend quickly in the waist. Ignoring the weird squawk-squeal that came from his best friend, and deftly avoiding the predictable punch that came after, Sora frowned as he poked again. "Tell me. Or I'm just going to keep poking you."

Riku sighed. "I had a dream about that time, okay?"

Immediately the poking stopped. Having guessed as much, Sora sighed as he casually sloped down on his chair, careful to keep his eyes on the sky as he said, "I'm okay, man."

The silence permeated them for a couple of moments, each boy deep in their own thoughts, before Riku shrugged, an elegant sweep of one shoulder. "I know. It's stupid."

"It's not."

It was a whisper, said low enough that Riku knew he could pretend not to have heard anything. He knew that Sora would change the subject in a moment. He always did because he understood that the topic was a sore subject for Riku. Predictably, Sora let out a small huff of breath beside him. "So. What're you doing out here anyways? You hate coming out on deck."

Riku shrugged as the pool boy finally returned with Sora's drink. "Tanning. I figured if our parents were going to put us on a cruise around the world…I might as well get a tan while I'm at it."

Snickering, Sora gratefully accepted his smoothie as he shook his head. "You don't tan, Riks," he laughed, indicating to the stubbornly pale skin before glancing at his own tanned skin. "You burn."

Shifting on the lounging chair, Sora sighed contently as he settled in place. Looking out towards the sea, sapphire blue eyes shimmered against the sunlight as they took in the luxury surrounding them.

"I can actually recognize some of the waters around here," Sora murmured a little as he stared out at the quickly approaching land. "Can you believe that our vacation's ending soon?" Sighing a little, he leaned back against the white chair. Closing his eyes, Sora enjoyed the breeze currently ruffling through his hair. "School's gonna start soon."

Riku smirked, as he replaced the shades back onto his eyes. "So serious. Did you expect us to be on vacation forever?"

"That'd be nice."

Tilting his head a little, sensing that the sentiment was said with a credible amount of wistfulness, Riku shot a look over at his friend again. Sora shrugged, as if in answer to Riku's silent probs. "School's fun, of course. It'd be nice to see everyone again. But this is nice too."

"_Sora!_"

Turning, Riku raised a brow at the fuming redhead that was currently storming up to them. Violet eyes flared as Kairi Misano, their other best friend, snarled at the pool boy who happened to cross her path. Wisps of red hair gleamed brightly against the sun as irritation pursed those pouty lips. Sipping his drink carefully as Sora suddenly paled beside him, Riku grinned in pure admiration (similar to how one might admire a lioness in all of her magnificence—from a far), as he prepared to enjoy the show.

Quite obviously, Sora must have done something since, upon reaching them, the redhead barely spared Riku a glance as she rounded on the little brunet. "Sora Strife, you…you…!" Gasping, unable to think of an insult that was potent enough in her anger, Kairi faltered as she pointed a shaking finger at him.

Jumping at the unexpected pause, Sora wince as he pleaded, "Oh shit, Kairi! I'm so sorry! I forgot! Please don't eat meeee!"

"Forgot? _You forgot!_" Running a hand through her short cap of hair in frustration, Kairi snarled as splotches of red started to explode onto her face. "You conveniently _forgot_ about coming back to save me after you ditched me with that…that fifty year old _bimbo_ with a receding hair line and a BO that smells worse than one of Tidus' molding locker room socks! "

"I wasn't planning on _ditching_ you, Kai," Sora coughed, laughing a little at the mention of their friend's less than hygienic locker. "I came to look for Riku. Honest! Look! I found him! You know how good he is with getting rid of pests. But he distracted me and…"

"Oi, don't drag me into this," Riku protested, as those violet eyes rounded on him.

"And you!" She swore, as she pointed an accusing finger at his slightly amused expression. "Don't give me that bland, innocent look mister! Do you have any idea how long Sora and I've been looking for you all morning? You could've left us a note or something. You're the reason why that weirdo decided to come up to me and start talking to us!"

"You mean talking to you," Sora supplied, glad that her attention was now successfully averted to Riku. "He had no interest in me."

_Foolish man_, Riku thought fleetingly as he noted the healthy flush in Sora's cheeks and the way the winds tousled the cinnamon strands. Shaking his head at the way Sora was currently grinning at Kairi, with all of the innocence and charm of a six year old who'd knew he'd been caught being naughty, Riku turned his attentions back towards their steaming friend.

"Come here," Riku patted the seat beside him. "Enjoy the sun with us. That weirdo's not here now—and I'll get rid of him for you if he comes, okay?" Throwing a winning smile towards her just in case, he grabbed a drink from another one of the passing pool boys and offered it to her.

Slightly mollified by the offer of a seat, and softening because of that smile, Kairi accepted the drink. Drawing her long, slim legs onto the sun chair on the other side of Riku, the redhead muttered quietly as she sipped. "You two are always getting away with things."

Sora snickered. "Who do you think we learned all of this stuff from?"

"Definitely not me," Kairi sniffed, smirking a little as her two friends started laughing. "Seriously! I'm the most innocent out of all three of us!"

"Yea right," Riku snickered.

"Oh c'mon, I had nothing to do with that time when you guys dyed Sephiroth's hair pink!"

"Oh yea, that was good!" Riku laughed, nodding appreciatively over to Sora. "My brother was traumatized for weeks! Although, living with him after that really wasn't all that safe." His Greek God of a brother, the Adonis in their home, had blown up at everyone at random in the house for the following months.

"But _you_ were the one who gave us the idea in the first place!" Sora countered hotly, pouting a little at Kairi.

"I most certainly did not." Kairi countered, deliberately sipping on her drink a little as her mouth twitched. "I was just talking about dying Cloud's _bunny_ pink. It's not my fault that you guys misinterpreted my words and decided to dye Sephiroth's _hair_. "

"Oh yeaa…" Laughing a little to himself, Sora shrugged. "Well then, what about that time when you dared me to antagonize that bulldog, huh?"

Kairi smirked as Riku laughed. "Only an idiot would actually go and antagonize a bulldog."

"You said I'm not a man if I didn't follow-up on my dares!"

"Ooh…your _manliness_." Kairi taunted. "You're _gay_, Sora."

"So? That doesn't mean I'm not a _man_. If anything, I'm manlier than regular straight men, half of whom are probably only _pretending_ to be straight anyways because they don't have the guts to step out of the closet! And anyway what about Riku?"

"What about Riku?"

Sora sniffed. "He's as manly as they come isn't he? And _he_ likes boys!"

At this, Kairi stopped. Sneaking a peek over at Riku, she snickered when she saw the slight blush that he was desperately trying to hide. "What are you doing Sora, fattening up his already oversized ego?"

Rolling his eyes, relieved that Sora hadn't noted his blush, Riku scoffed. "I do not have an _oversized_ ego, thank you. It's well deserved." Smirking a little now, slanting a look over at Sora, he added, "Who else do you know is as gorgeous, smart, athletic, and _manly_ as I am?"

Rolling her eyes a little, Kairi sighed.

Riku laughed, "Oh man, but speaking of bunnies…Remember that time when Sephiroth made us steal Cloud's favorite teddy?"

Sora sighed. "Yea, and then you had to go and lose it. My brother was sulking for a month."

"What the Hell? I wasn't the one who lost it. You pushed me and made it drop from our old fort." Pausing a little, Riku smiled as he remembered the raggedy old tree house the three of them had built (with lots of help from a grudging Sephiroth and an amused Cloud) at the tender age of seven. "And then the old Makino couple's dog had to steal it away."

"I'm telling you," Leaning forward a little, Sora pointed a finger up as his brows furrowed together. "That old dog was seriously in love with Cloud's bear. He used to never leave it alone, you know?"

Smirking a little from how serious Sora looked as he talked about the old poodle that used to be the bane of their existence, Riku shivered a little as a sudden sense of foreboding overcame him. Frowning a bit, the teen turned as he sniffed a bit, only to freeze at the sight behind them.

There, behind the three of them, stood the massive angry blob that was one Cloud Strife, older brother to Sora Strife. The blond spikes that were usually gelled to perfection seemed especially sharp today as bright blue eyes glared into the three of them. Sucking in a breath, Riku braced as those lips that reminded him a little bit of Sora's parted.

"So it _was_ you idiots who stole my bear."

Riku opened his mouth to speak. At the glare that Cloud sent his way, he quickly snapped it shut again. Scratching his head a little, eyeing the pool boy who suddenly turned a one-eighty upon seeing Cloud's angry silhouette, Riku sighed. He highly doubted that he'd be able to placate _this_ teen with just a smile and an offer for a drink.

Shit.

* * *

Sora would have rather the ship had wrecked, pierced a hole right beneath the deck in which he stood, and had the sea swallow him whole than face the current frigidity that was his older brother, Cloud. In all the years that they've been brothers—and it has been a good sixteen years—Sora could count the number of times that his brother had seriously gotten mad at him in one hand.

It's not that Cloud didn't get mad. In fact, despite what most people thought, Sora had always thought that his brother was the one person who might actually match up to Sephiroth's crazy temper. It's not that he went into rampages like the other teen. In fact, in complete opposition, the blond goes into one of his crazy, as Sora had deemed it years ago, _Ice Modes of Doom_.

It wasn't even the fact that Cloud was just a rather quiet guy in general—a little detached, just a bit aloof. However, despite that fact, most people would agree that Cloud Strife was anything but a mellow guy. After all, not many people can cause immobility with a single icy glare. Nor can they claim that they had effectively wrecked an entire dojo—and its thirteen disciples along with it—their freshman year of high school solely because of the verdicts of a rather prejudiced judge.

The reason was actually quite simple: Cloud, if no one else, _adored_ his baby brother. Beyond the cool exterior lived the soul of a loving brother in all of his brother complexities.

As such, it was with much apprehension from one Sora Strife as he chased his brother off the deck. Shivering slightly from the vehement _ice_ permeating off the blond, Sora actually sneezed. Quickly backtracking into his two best friends as chilly blue eyes darted towards him, Sora sniffled a bit when Cloud turned right back around and started stalking back to their quarters.

"I'm _sorry_, Cloud," Sora pouted a bit as he braved a step forward. As his friends watched, the brunette quivered his lips a bit before he reached forward, snagged Cloud's sleeves and pulled himself directly in front of his brother.

"I'm _sorry_," Deciding that explaining the past would just irritate his brother further, Sora went with the direct approach. Lowering his head a little, he let soulful sapphire eyes peering sadly into Cloud's rather glacial glare. "Don't hate me…please?" Letting his lips quiver just once more, he slowly dropped his head. "Do you hate me now?"

Even before Cloud cursed, Riku knew that Sora had already hooked him. Smirking to Kairi as Cloud sighed, Riku rolled his eyes as Sora's head snapped up, hope brimming in those wide sapphire gems. As far as he knew, the reason why no one dared to cross Sora's path in the Strife household was because everyone knew that Sora could pull tricks like that. No matter what trouble he landed himself into, give him three seconds with his puppy dog face, and he'd be right out of it.

Well, nearly all the time, anyways.

Cloud, despite the fact that he understood full well that Sora was doing this on purpose, could only sigh as he quietly gave in. Patting those soft spikes, he threw a glare over to the two accomplices behind him. Noting Riku's "I'm innocent" whistle and Kairi's carefully maintained "What a wonderful vacation!" smile, Cloud only sighed again. He could never stay mad at those three.

Sora, aware of where Cloud's thoughts were heading, quickly bounced away from him and grabbed both Riku's and Cloud's arms. "C'mon, c'mon!" he beamed, spiky cinnamon strands bouncing slightly in his haste, "It's our last day on this cruise! Don't you guys want to stalk those big hunks in the crew and watch them strut their stuff?"

Smiling happily as the car slowed, Sora squirmed around in his seat happily as he waited for the gates leading to his home to open. Having gotten off the cruise around an hour ago, the brunette found himself actually excited to be home. While it was a little sad that play time was over (after all, classes start tomorrow), he couldn't deny that he'd missed his mom. Poking his head out of the window, he breathed in the fresh air, as he waved to the guards by the front gates of his home.

"Hi guys!" He beamed, tilting his head a little as they looked at one another before hesitantly waving back. Deciding that they must be new (most of the older servants are rather used to the exuberance within his home), Sora grinned as the large iron gates parted for them.

"Sit down, Sora, before your head hits something."

Pouting just a little, he obeyed anyways as he plopped back down onto his seat. Looking over at his brother, Sora swung his legs a little before he leaned over to look at what Cloud was reading. Noting the kendo stances and various other articles, Sora blew out a breath as he nudged Cloud. "I'm bored."

"We'll be back in literally two minutes, Sora." Shaking his head a little at how hyperactive his younger brother was, Cloud closed the magazine just as the car slid to a slow stop. "There, we're home." Not waiting for their chauffer to reach his side, he opened the door and slid out.

Quickly scooting out of the car, Sora leaped up the stairs, past an amused Cloud, as he ran straight for the front doors. Before he could even open the large ebony doors, they opened on their own, admitting a middle-aged woman with short blond hair.

"Sora! Cloud!"

Short blond hair gleamed as the patisserie hat flew off her head in her haste to grab onto the two boys. Light brown eyes, somewhat hazel in the sunlight, lit up in happiness as she threw her arms around the two of them. Elena Pierrot-Strife breathed into Sora's hair as she laughed. "I've been waiting forever for you two to come home! Let me have a good look at you."

"Hi mom," Sora said, smiling cheekily as his mother looked him over.

"I'm home." Cloud gave a small smile, leaning forward to give his mother a soft peck on her cheeks.

"Oh!" At this, tears filled those brown eyes as she reached forward to hug her babies again. "Oh! I missed the two of you! Did you guys have fun?"

"Hehe, we missed you too, mum!" Reaching up, nuzzling his mother's cheek in affection, Sora grinned as Cloud ushered them into the house. "It was really fun. We sailed all the way to the Caribbean. There were some really interesting and remote islands."

Cloud shook his head a little as Sora chattered away, their mother laughing the whole time over some tale or other. Looking over to the butler, he nodded over to the luggage that the chauffer had already diligently taken out of the car. Following his family into the family parlor, he settled into his favorite chair as the maids came out with tea and cakes.

"…There was this one place, though. It was a really small local place. They had this really interesting type of dish called the "_Marik_." It's like a shortcake, sort of, except when you bite into it, the center's crunchy."

"Really?" Scooting out of her seat a little, Elena pushed her bangs behind her ears as she frowned in curiosity. "I wonder how they did it?"

Sora grinned. "I knew you'd wonder, so I took the liberty of begging the recipe out of their chef. I have it in the luggage along with a couple of other really interesting recipes. I'll give it to you later mom."

"Aww, aren't you my son," Elena laughed. "Still thinking of the company even when you're off vacationing."

"You mean he was just making up excuses to gorge on every location we happened to stop by along the way," Cloud teased as he took a bite of the shortcake their chef had made.

Smiling, Elena shook her head as warm brown eyes regarded her other son. "Well? How was vacation for you?"

"Pretty good," Cloud shrugged. "I had plenty of relaxation."

Making a loud "tsk!" at such a typical answer, Elena clapped her hands together as she suddenly remembered. "Oh yea! Cloud! By the way, we got a call from your school's club advisor. I think he asked that you call him back as soon as you can. He said something about how you're officially the kendo team's new captain." Delighted and immensely proud of her son, Elena added, "I left his number on your desk."

"Oh, okay. Thanks, mom."

"_Wait a second!_ Cloud, you ran for kendo captain!"

Raising his brows a little, Cloud nodded. "I'm surprise you didn't already know."

"_You_ did?"

"Is it really so surprising?"

"_Duh_." Clapping his hands together, Sora immediately reached behind him, only to find a cushion as opposed to his book bag. "Wait a sec while I run up to grab my recorder and pads. I wanna interview you for the paper!"

Cloud frowned. "Sora you're overreacting."

"No I'm not!" Already halfway up the stairs, the brunette's voice rang over the house as he pounded across the hall towards his room. Quickly grabbing his notes, he flew back down the stairs only to find that his brother was already heading back up. Backtracking, he followed the blond down the hallway leading to the bedrooms. "Our kendo team has the greatest chance of winning the championship this year. Everyone's all hyped up about it so you making captain are _definitely_ Trinity Limit worthy news!" he said, naming the school's paper.

"Not interested, Sora."

"But—! Clouuuuudddd!"

Turning around as he opened the door to his room, Cloud nearly smirked when he saw that Sora was pouting again. "_No_, Sora. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a call to make."

* * *

The bakery was as busy as usual when Riku walked through the automatic doors. The familiar scent of fresh bread and delicious sweets wafted to his nose as eyes adjusted to the warm yellow lights of the famous Strife Bakery. Customers lined at the cashier as attendants greeted and aided even more customers in their selections. Waving at a couple of people he recognized, Riku grinned when he spotted Sora behind the cashier. Sapphire blue eyes caught his own immediately as he smiled and waved in his direction, before turning back to the customer before him.

He thought he saw the brunette maiming the motion of making a creampuff just before the old man before him laughed while the girl beside him rang up his purchases. Taking the bag from her, Sora handed the bag over to him as he waved goodbye. Even as Riku watched, Sora murmured something to the girl beside him before slipping out from behind the counter.

Weaving easily through the crowds, helping a customer here, greeting a customer there, Sora grinned as he finally reached the front of the bakery. "Hey, sorry, that was an old customer."

"I know how it is," Riku grinned as they walked out of the store together, leaving the noise and people behind them. "So, why the sudden urge to go shopping on our first day back?"

Sora shrugged as they walked down the road that would lead to the mall nearby. "Kairi called me earlier and said that Axel and Reno was driving her up the wall back home. You know how they were about missing out on the cruise."

"Ahh."

"And if _I_ didn't get out of the house, Cloud might've killed me since I was bugging him so much. Did you know that he became the new captain of the kendo club?"

Raising his brows a little, Riku shook his head. Although, if he really thought about it, it wasn't all that surprising. There had been signs that the last leader had been prepping Cloud for the position since last year.

"You know how buzzed the entire school is about placing third in the nationals last year," Sora continued as they walked through the doors that led into the mall. "So I wanted to interview him about this."

"Lemme guess, Cloud refused."

"Yea!" Pouting, Sora blew out his cheeks as the escalator took them up to the first floor. "You'd think I was trying to eat him or something."

The sudden music, a deliriously happy tune, interrupted them as Riku quickly dug into his pockets. Pulling out his cell phone, Riku glanced at the caller briefly before answering.

"Hey Kairi, we're right in front of Kaido-Sen."

_"Perfect!_" Through the phone, Riku could hear the loud background noise that told him that she was already at the mall. _"Stay right there! I'll be there in a second! I swear! I just saw this reeeeaaaaally cute top this girl had. She said she got it from Kaido-Sen. I bet it'd look _wonderful_ on Sora!_"

"Kairi, I don't think Sora would appreciate you—"

"_Oh don't worry about details, Riku. Ooh, I think I see you guys! Talk to you in a sec!_" And as the connection died, Riku glanced up in time to see the redhead making a beeline towards them. Before either of them could register what had happened, she had already hauled Sora into the store and grabbed the attention of a sales assistant. Used to her sergeant-like attitude when it comes to shopping, Riku quietly followed after them.

As the two women dragged Sora around the shop, comparing tops and bottoms with the shirt Kairi held tightly in her hands, Riku sighed as he resigned himself to waiting.

* * *

"Damn it, just a little more!"

"I…I'm gonna _crack_…j-just hurry up will you?"

"Oh my _God_ this is so tight!"

"Oh no, oh no, _nnnngh!_ Arrgh, I can't stand it anymore!"

With that said, Sora released the breath he'd been holding for the past five minutes and collapsed. Coughing a little as his lungs sucked in the much needed air, he fell unceremoniously onto the ground as the zipper of the forest-green leather pants he'd been trying to fit himself into for the past twenty minutes promptly streaked back down. Glaring at the abomination that Kairi had been torturing him with for the past hour, Sora scowled.

"I'm not wearing this to school tomorrow," he announced, pointing at the half-on pants. Glaring at his reflection in the stall of the fitting room, he added, "I _hate_ green."

"What are you talking about?" Kairi demanded, planting her arms onto her waist. "Your favorite color is green!"

"Not anymore," he muttered, stepping out of the pants that were twenty sizes too small for him.

Huffing, Kairi frowned in disappointment at the fact that, in the end, the past half an hour was an utter waste. Mourning the loss of the pants, Kairi placed it down with the pile of other failures. If only Sora had been _half a pound _lighter. If only he'd been just a _centimeter_ skinnier, he would have fit. Damn it, it would have been gone _wonderfully_ with the black shirt she'd already decided that would make Sora look like a _God_.

Sighing, recognizing defeat, she shrugged. "Fine, Forget those." Holding up the other pair of black jeans, she thrust them towards her friend. "Get into these right now."

Sora stared at the piece of tiny clothing before him. "Kairi, are you _trying_ to kill me?"

"Sora, c'mon. You promised to cooperate."

"I do _not_ remember promising anything. You just dragged me into the store and started piling clothing on me and then you and that scary sales clerk ganged up on me!" Sniffling a little as he remembered the woman with eyes that were just a little too eager, Sora unconsciously crossed his arms over his chest. "I thought she was gonna rape me!"

Rolling her eyes a little, Kairi held up the pair of pants before the teen again. "Seriously. Sora, we're standing in the middle of the fitting room. You're completely naked except for your boxers, and I'm holding up your pants. How do you think this'll look if that annoying attendant comes barging back in here?"

"I'm not wearing that! I'll _die_ from lack of oxygen!"

"You will not die! Now get into these!"

"No! I don't want to!"

"Sora!"

"Kairi!"

The sudden knock on the door interrupted their glaring contest. Whipping around, two sets of eyes stared as the door to their stall started to open. The saleslady, indeed, had decided to barge in upon hearing the racket they were making only to freeze, mouth unwillingly falling open at the scene before her. Sora, had he not been the one in the situation (and half naked too, to boot), would have found it comical the way her eyes widened in shock before her head snapped back.

"_What in the name of—!_ Miss Misano! This is not a…! We are not a…! We don't condone…!" Seemingly unable to finish her sentences, the attendant flushed as she quickly closed the door. "We're not a teen 'let's get it on' joint! I ask that you please take your activities elsewhere!"

A pause. And then—

"…Or, at the very least…Can I join?"

* * *

Riku, seated in the middle of the mall's cafeteria, finally released the laugh he'd been holding in since Kaido-Sen. Choking a little, nearly toppling his drink in his haste to grab for a napkin, he coughed as he desperately tried to stopper his chuckles. Smirking slightly, green eyes dancing as he swallowed his Cola, Riku laughed as he declared, "_God_, only you and Sora can somehow manage to turn a shopping session into an _orgy_."

"It's not funny!" Still slightly appalled from the proposition he'd received back in the store, baby blue eyes revealed the beginnings of a sulk as Sora stabbed angrily at his chicken teriyaki with his bent straw. "That was by far the most disturbing thing that's ever happened to me! It's even weirder than the fifty year old man who tried to come onto Kairi!"

"I _told_ you, you should've just put on those pants," Kairi huffed. "We could've avoided all of that if you'd been clothed. And, just so you know, that was not anything at all like being hit on by a fifty-year-old."

"At least you're_ straight_, Kai," Sora gripped. Turning back to Riku, Sora pouted. "Can you imagine, Riks? Me standing in the corner of that hellish stall, those disgusting pants still _half off_, and Kairi desperately tugging at them? I swear, I saw blood completely draining from that sales lady's face."

Choking a little again, as Riku desperately tried _not_ to imagine Sora all alone in a stall with his pants half off. Riku pounded his chest as he quickly reached for his drink, again.

"What do you mean 'disgusting'? I'll have you know, Sora Strife, that those pants are currently _the_ most fashionable piece of _sex_ in the entire industry!" Kairi declared, completely ignoring Riku, who had just inhaled all of his Cola in one gulp.

"Well I'm not _looking_ for sex! Besides, those pants will make me look like I'm in mourning!"

"That's not what you said at Gackt's last concert," Kairi snorted as she turned to her own drink. "Who was it that declared that Gackt has the hottest butt in the whole world with the exception to—"

"But he wasn't wearing my pants!" Sora hastily interrupted, silently handing napkins to a dying Riku.

"HA! So you _did_ want them! They're not your pants, Sora."

Finally coughing out the last of the cola out of his lungs, Riku patted his throat a little as his two friends promptly fell back into bantering mode. Turning his attention decidedly away from the conversation—on the off chance that they'd say something that'll really kill him this time—Riku frowned as he suddenly realized something.

"Hey guys, where's Tidus anyways?" he asked, interrupting Kairi's tirade about Sora's closet—or the lack thereof.

"Oh, uhhh, last I heard, he was downtown." Having given up on their food, the three of them stood and began walking out of the food court. "Heard he's been trying to learn Chinese Lion Dancing the whole summer."

Riku blinked. "_Why_?"

Sora shrugged. "I'm not sure. I called him to see if he wanted to come hangout today, since we haven't seen him all summer. But he said he had something to do and would meet up a little later. If not, he'll see us tomorrow."

"Huh." Picking their way carefully through the crowds of people, the three rounded the corner towards their next frequent shop. "He's gotten kinda weird, lately. Did you guys notice?"

"Oh that's not true," Kairi smirked as she turned knowing violet eyes onto Riku. "He's just been a little preoccupied with something lately. Someone I know is even weirder." Not waiting for Riku's retort, she skipped into Mai Rik.

As Kairi started going nuts over the new outfits that would look superb on Sora, Riku went over to the vest section. Surveying the new stock with a critical eye, he fingered one of the vests hanging on display. Considering it, he raised his brow when suddenly, a girl popped up behind him.

"Nice choice!" The pixie-like girl with the cap of short black hair beamed as she pointed to the vest Riku held. "Those _just_ came in and we've already sold, like, a million of them already!"

"Oh," Losing interesting, Riku replaced it onto the rack. "Too bad."

"Huh? No, don't put it down! What I meant is that it's popular and everyone wants it!"

"That's nice." Riku smirked. "But I'm not very interested in things everyone else already has."

"_Oh_." Eyes widening in understanding, she rushed forward as Riku started to head towards Kairi and Sora. "Wait, _wait!_ What I meant to say was that _nobody_ likes this vest and—arrgh."

Chuckling a little, Riku smirked at she stomped her foot in frustration. "Are you new here? I've never seen you around before."

She rolled her eyes. "Yea, I'm Yuffie. I was hired by the great owner of Mai Rik last week."

"Haha, you're interesting, Yuffie."

"Thanks! Wanna buy something and tell my boss how interesting I am?"

"Riku," Kairi smiled at Yuffie a little before turning to her friend. She held up two pairs of pants. "The forest green or the midnight black?"

Riku blinked. "What's with your obsession with tight pants?"

"_Because_, Sora looks great in them." She smirked a little before adding, "Besides, don't pretend like you're not interested. You benefit most from it, after all. So, the green or the black?"

"Neither." Pointing at their favorite brunette, who had just sneaked out of the dressing room, Riku whistled. "Go with _that_."

Turning, both girls gasped simultaneously when they caught sight of the small teen currently trying to hide from view, calling, "Kairi? Where'd you go?"

"Oh my _God_, I have good taste." Releasing her breath all at once, Kairi dumped the pants she'd been holding onto Yuffie's lax arms.

Swirling in their direction when he heard their voices, Sora blushed when he spotted Yuffie. Tugging at his belt helplessly, the brunette turned those pity-me blue eyes onto his one ally. "Riku."

Unable to stop grinning for some reason, Riku walked over to Sora and, with the privileges of sixteen years of friendship, reached out to feel the material of the tank. "Looks good."

"Kairi was trying to fit me into _girl_ pants," Sora complained, pouting a little even as he blushed from the compliment.

"Doesn't change the fact that this looks good on you." Which was a major understatement. He had never seen his friend dressed quite like this. Damn, when had Sora been able to fill out a beater like that? And those pants—God, he'll end up killing Riku if he just _walked_ in that little number.

"You really think so?" Turning a critical eye on the mirror, Sora frowned as he surveyed the two beaters, white over light blue, matched with a pair of black-blue _baggy_ pants. The only pair of baggy pants Kairi had brought to him. The ones that made his legs look a mile long.

Kairi, who seemed to have gotten over her excitement, quickly hurried over. Rounding Sora a couple of times, scrutinizing him from all angles, she finally giggled as she pumped her fists in triumph. "Ha! The _perfect_ outfit!" Fanning herself cockily, she grinned as she backtracked once more to take a better look at her friend. "You look sport _and_ cute—with the perfect butt, too."

Turning to look, Sora blushed at the chain attached to his back pocket. "Is this really necessary?"

"_Yes_! You'll ruin the outfit without it!"

Rolling his eyes, knowing better than to question Kairi when it came to fashion, Sora walked back into the stall to change out of his clothes. "Well this outfit is okay. It could be worse. Like that crazy girl top you brought me earlier."

Insulted, Kairi sniffed as she accepted the clothes Sora threw over the door. "It wasn't a crazy girl top, you nincompoop. It was a perfectly unisex shirt," Kairi explained to Riku. "And it went really well with his skin tone."

Opening the stall, Sora accepted the clothes as he rolled his eyes. "The shirt was pink."

"Real men wear pink!"

"I can't stand pink." Reaching the register, Sora handed his purchases over to Yuffie. "And let's not get started on the bunch of other crazy stuff you tried to torture me with."

"They were all perfectly fashionable articles of clothing!"

Laughing, noticing that Yuffie was trying to get Sora's attention so that he could pay, he quickly grabbed Sora's wallet from his hands and handed her the credit card. Shaking his head a little, since Sora didn't even notice his wallet had been taken from him, he waved it in front of his friend's face. "Pay attention, Sora."

"Huh? Oh, thanks Riku." Turning back to Kairi, taking his purchases and credit card back from Yuffie, Sora turned back to Kairi. "But it doesn't change the fact that most of clothes on that pile are _girl clothing_."

"And what's so wrong about wearing girl's clothes?"

"'Cause I'm not a girl! Anyways, how come you never make _Riku_ dress up as a girl?"

"That's because…"

As silence suddenly descended onto their group, Riku froze. Looking over at Kairi, the same shivery feeling he had earlier when Cloud nearly maimed them on the cruise suddenly returned as Sora suddenly grinned.

"No guys." Backing up a little, holding up his hands defensively, Riku shook his head. "I'm not doing it."

"C'mon, Riku," Sora wheedled as he inched forward. "It's not so bad."

"I'm serious guys, no."

"Don't worry, Riku," Kairi smirked. "I have amazing taste."

"No! No, guys! _No!_"

"Kairi! You grab his other arm! I'll grab his legs!"

"His legs—? _Ohh_, got it!"

"Wait guys! _NO!_"

**End Chapter – Story TBC **

_Yuki Notes!_ Chapter 01 – **revamped!**

First, I need to apologize to readers who waited a lonnnnnng long time for this story to be updated! Second, to any reader who might actually prefer the older version, again my apologies. (This version is much wordier, and I know some readers prefer the dialogues.) However, because the _overall_ plotline remains relatively the same, I didn't want to create a new story and just leave this one hanging. So I decided to just change everything over. __

One of the criticism from the old version of _So Funny_ was that the scene changes are really abrupt, especially since I generally do a POV change with each scene change as well. That, and some readers were confused by the way the story flowed from pairing to pairing. (_Yes, this version maintains the original pairings_.) So, I decided to make this an anthology instead. The first part to this four part anthology is _**Riku & Sora's**_ tale.

Finally, I hope you all enjoyed this new installment! And I'll try to keep up this speed keep the updates coming!

_As usual, all your reviews rock! Please keep 'em coming! _

**Lots of love, **

**Yukisora **

_This version is currently unbeta'd. If anyone is interested in betaing, please contact me through a PM! I prefer to get to know you and your writing style __before__ working together, but it all depends! _


	2. Old Friends, New Acquaintances

**SO FUNNY I CAN CRY**  
By: Yukisora

**Chapter 01  
Old Friends, New Acquaintances**

---

"_Happiness had to be grabbed at with both hands and a full heart."_  
— Nora Roberts **_"Without a Trace"_**

---

Staring at the piece of paper in his hands, Leon scowled. Tightening onto the stack of notes, knuckles whitened as they strained to remain in control. Sucking in a breath, willing the urge to scream and break havoc away, Leon turned those stormy cobalt eyes onto the back wall of his beige locker.

Damn it. Fuck it. Fuck it all to Hell and back.

_Shit_.

Releasing that breath, closing his eyes, the brunette grabbed onto his pile of books and slipped the tiny piece of white that has just ruined his life into his astrophysics text.

Dear Sally.

Dear fucking Sally. How was it possible that Leon, Squall Leonhart, had become the Trinity Limit's editor for the Dear Sally column? What the _fuck_ had their teacher been thinking? Did he _look_ like the advice giver?

Banging his head onto his locker, smoothing his features out into his emotionless mask, Leon turned to stalk down the empty hall. Since it was still early—way before school started—he might as well go freshen up. After all, there was no way in Hell that anyone was _ever_ going to find out who's the new Sally.

Oh God, he would cry if it wouldn't completely obliterate his image.

_I'm surprised alright_. Muttering a little to himself, Leon slammed open the bathroom door. Who would have thought that the editor-in-chief was obligated to become an advice columnist too? That was definitely not in the job description.

Seifer that fucker. He probably knew, which was why he'd turned down the job last year.

"Eh? Leon?"

Eyes snapped open and lit onto the single brunette currently staring at him. Sora Hashiba raised a brow at the load of books his senior and club mentor was currently holding.

"Good morning!" he chirped.

"Hey Sora." Turning from the happy kid—what did Leon care, his life was over—Leon placed his books onto the ground before turning on the faucet. Letting the water run for a few seconds, eyes staring at nothing but the pure white water, Leon sighed once before starting to slap water onto his face.

"So, I heard that Mako-sensei called for you this morning too?" Grinning, satisfied that his chain was clipped on correctly, he turned from the mirror to look at his favorite senior. "Are you officially chief?"

"Yes." Leon didn't even bother asking how Sora knew he had that meeting.

"I _knew_ it!" Cheering, pumping a fist triumphantly into the air, two sapphire gems sparkled over to the soaked teen. "So? When are we having our first meeting?"

Leon gritted his teeth before that very desired and long overdue groan could escape. "Friday," he said, before stuffing his head back under the faucet.

"Friday. Okay, got it!" Poking Leon's books once, he jumped up from his slouched position. Waving to Leon a little, the brunette grinned as he hurried out of the bathroom to meet his friends. "I gotta go! I still need to meet with Riku and Tidus and everyone! See ya, Leon! Oh, and _good_ _luck_ with the column!"

Groaning, Leon grabbed a towel. Wiping his face absently, he glared at the book with his instructions sticking out.

And froze.

_"And _goodluck_ with the column!"_ Sora had said.

Oh my fucking—

God.

---

Kairi really wish boys weren't the morons that they were.

Rolling her eyes, sighing a little, she dropped her head onto her waiting palm as her friend continued to squawk angrily. Eyeing the group of guys across the room, she rolled her eyes again. Tidus was literally quivering, staring at Selphie with his sad baby blue eyes.

"Damnit, if I ever catch that stupid blond _freak_ again, I'm going to KILL him!" Selphie growled, balling her small hands into fists. Angry hazel eyes stared down at her new dress, now splattered with paint, in despair. Damn it, she really liked this dress!

Sora whistled a little, hoping that Kairi would be able to calm Selphie down soon. If their angry friend ever found out that Tidus was actually _here_, sitting in the same room as she was, limbs might actually fly!

"You're an idiot." Kairi muttered, as Selphie stomped off to clean her dress again. Rolling her eyes at Tidus, who looked as though the world's come to an end, she scowled. "_Why _did you tackle her?"

It had happened on such a nice day too. The sun was out, literally shimmering against the blades of perfect grass in the courtyard of Trinity Academy. Tidus had been standing with Riku and Sora, discussing little nothings when he'd spotted Selphie making her way over to them, carrying a set of acrylic paint.

"Don't you even_ think_ of running," Riku had said, snagging their wayward friend before he could hide.

"Go and offer to help her carry her stuff," Sora had added. Unfortunately for them, he'd also pushed Tidus a little to get him moving too.

Next thing Tidus knew, he'd somehow or another sprawled all over his crush. Not to say it was bad or anything—after all, he finally got to _touch_ her at least. Except, in the next second, the paint that had dropped from her hand when he rammed smack into her landed. On them.

Splattering _all over Selphie_.

Tidus wished the ground would swallow him whole.

"Sora, Riku, I hate you," Tidus groaned, slamming his head against his desk. "I _hate_ you."

"But, if you kill us, Selphie'll hate you more," Sora reasoned, scratching his head a little. "Because, you know, we're friends and everything."

"I _hate_ you."

"Well, I suggest you love us soon because we're the only thing between you and the monster that's going to eat you," Riku said, pointing at Selphie, who had just spotted Tidus.

"Tidus Honda, you're _dead_!"

Really, it was hard to decide whether he should be happy that Selphie finally knew his name, or upset that his life's ending. "Selphie! W-wait! We should be reasonable about this right?" he stammered, instinctively putting the table between them. "Violence is bad..."

"Tell me right now, you! Do I _look_ like a football? Huh?" Green eyes flaming, she suddenly jumped to the right, intent on grabbing onto his black tee. "Well!"

"N-no! Of course not!"

"Do I _look_ like that piece of pig skin! Am I pointy? HUH!"

"Okay, erm...I know I mistook you for a football this morning..."

Sighing, Kairi closed her eyes as she slammed her own head against the table. _That_ had been Tidus' brilliant excuse for ramming into Selphie that morning? That she looked like a _football_?

God, why did you make boys such _morons_?

"Never mind that you mistook me for a football, but don't you think it'd be kind of strange for a football to be holding, oh, I don't know, _paint_!" Jumping to the left this time, her fingers grasped the air desperately, just centimeters from catching the fleeing blond.

"Okay, maybe I need glasses..."

"Arrgh, Tidus Honda, you are so dead!" And with the grace that was so famous in Trinity Academy, Selphie leapt, over the desk, barely swinging past Sora and landed, with the air of a professional stuntman, onto Tidus.

"Hey, Selphie—Selphie!" Riku rushed forward to grab onto the brunette as she started beating her fist onto the captive blond. "Selph, I know that Tidus ruined your dress and all but—"

"Ohh no, he's dying and you're not stopping me, Riku Sugisaki!"

"Selphie, calm down," Kairi walked over to stand between them as well. "I know Tidus is an idiot—but he has his reasons."

"For _ramming_ me?"

"Tidus rams everyone," Sora piped up. "Don't take it personally."

"Does he mistake everyone for a football and then ram them?"

"Um, well, no." Frowning over at their friend, Sora rolled his eyes at his idiocy. Alarmed as the sudden growls escalated again, Sora rushed over to sooth. "But, Selph! That doesn't mean anything! You're not fat, you're not pointy, and you're not pig skinned, okay? You're a swan, the swan of our school, okay?"

Glaring at Sora, Selphie lowered her arms for a second. "Flattery..."

"Will get your everywhere?"

Sighing at the hopeful blue eyes, Selphie shrugged out of Riku's hold. Stomping over to Tidus, emerald green eyes regarded the blond quietly with the same eerie sneer most wolves have for their prey. If you don't die today, her eyes seemed to say, then you'll just die another day.

"Well, now that one crisis has been avoided." Settling down onto their seats again, Kairi went back to Selphie as Riku turned to his two friends. "Ti, let me call you an idiot. I really don't get how you could get a girl to hate you on the first day of school."

Slamming his head onto his desk, the blond mop flopped over his face as the friend groaned. "I knew it. This year's cursed."

Sora rolled his eyes. "Why don't you join the drama club?"

"If you're thinking of another one of your crazy plans to get me and Selphie together...!"

Ignoring the blond in favor of the two girls across the room, Sora laughed at the glare Selphie was giving them, and Kairi's, admittedly futile, tactics to get her to stop. "I _really_ doubt that's possible, anyway."

"Fuck off."

"Ti, man, we admit it. We pushed you." Grinning, Riku twirled from his seat to roll his eyes at his friend. "But _you're_ the one who told her she looked like a football. Man, don't you understand girls at all?"

Tidus opened his mouth, intent on retorting, when the door slid open. From the automatic hush of the room, the blond assumed their homeroom teacher had finally decided to arrive. Deciding to settle with a sneer and his very happy one finger salute, Tidus turned his attention to the front of the room.

"When I call you, come forward to pick out your schedules. Those of you who are still without locker assignments, sign up on this sheet here and claim your locks at the end of the day at the student's office." A hand reached up to push his glasses in place, Yamabuki-sensei, famous in the Trinity Academy for his balding head, turned onto his roll.

Sighing as student after another walked to the front to get their schedules, Tidus blew out a breath as he slumped back onto his seat. Frowning a little, _knowing_ that Selphie was still glaring at him, he turned his attention onto the window. Riku and Sora had already gotten over the commotion, moving onto the topic of clubs and new teams.

"Tidus Honda! Tidus, are you here?"

"Sorry," he said, scratching his head a little as he stood. Grabbing his schedule, he went back over to his seat. Sneaking a look over at Selphie, the blond athlete froze as those hazel eyes caught him and burned him to his soul. Turning around, he groaned as he slumped back onto his seat.

What a way to start the year.

---

Riku blew out a single breath as he looked around the office. Brows drew together as he caught sight of no one but a lady, typing away at her computer. Frowning, sweeping the room once more, he watched as Sora walked over to the front desk.

"Excuse me," he said once. Waiting for the girl to respond, Sora scratched his head when all she did was type. "Erm, excuse me!"

"Be with you in a sec, hon." Typing a few more lines, she giggled a little before switching out of the window and turned to the two of them. Eyes sparkling, mouth curled into a mischievous smile, she clucked her tongue once. "So! How can I help you handsome boys?"

"Oh, well, my cousin was suppose to transfer to school today," Sora blushed, staring at a corner of the room as though his cousin might magically appear. "I was just wondering what class he might be in, so that I could see him before homeroom ends?"

"Name?"

"Hashiba. Roxas Hashiba."

The lady clucked her tongue again as she stared into her screen. "Roxas Hashiba, junior. Official class, 115A. Homeroom, 613."

"Thanks, lady!" Sora grinned, as he ran out of the office, pulling Riku along. The silver haired teen, in turn, rolled his eyes but let himself be dragged along.

"I don't get it. How come I never heard about this before?" he asked as they dashed through the halls. "You know. Roxas."

"He's a cousin of mine. Lived in the States for the past year." Sora shrugged a little, muscles moving as they strained up the steps of their school. Riku nodded, mouth going dry as Sora dashed up the steps before him.

God, he could just die looking at that—

"Anyway, I only found out last night that Roxas was living with me and Cloud-nii."

Blinking out of his thoughts, eyes swung back to the mop of messy brown hair. "Oh yea?" he murmured once, just to let Sora know that he was still listening. Catching up to the brunette, he raised a brow as they stopped before a classroom.

Sora knocked once, eyes automatically looking upward in preparation for their teacher. Riku shook his head, nearly berating himself for his thoughts. Dammit. Damn Sora and his absolutely cute and molestable tendencies.

They both frowned when screams started erupting out from the classroom. Raising a brow at Sora, Riku rapped on the door once more before sliding it open noiselessly. His second brow rose as something like a shoe flew past his head, almost taking out an eye.

"Dammit, I'm _telling you_ to CALM DOWN!" Stressed and ready to pull out the rest of his hair, Franscois-sensei growled as his students continued to fight. "Oh my God," he muttered and nearly jumped out of his skin when Sora tapped him on the shoulder. "_No!_ I don't NEED more students! Can't you see that I'm already overwhelmed as I am!" And, in the blink of an eye, he'd reverted back to his first language, swearing rapidly in fluent French.

This, if nothing else, stopped the two teens currently fighting in the middle of the room long enough to stare at their still swearing teacher. One of them grinned as he recognized Riku and ambled past his conquest to where Riku was standing with Sora.

"Well, well. If it isn't the heir to the Sugisaki fortune." Smirking in a way not unlike a feline, Axel Akuseru clucked his tongue once as he stalked over to sling an arm around his longtime friend. Red hair flamed behind him as he pressed Riku close to his frame. "What are you doing here?"

Riku rolled his eyes. Pushing the horny redhead off him, he watched as Sora spotted out a blond and made his way over to him. Figuring that Sora'll take a while, he turned onto Axel and pointed at their just made calm teacher. "Are you trying to get the man to cry or something?"

"Dude, he's more likely to rage than cry. Don't you know how the French are?" Axel shook his head once and turned as the bell rang. Walking over to grab his bag, he heaved it over his shoulder as he followed Riku out of the room. Waiting patiently with him, he glanced down at his schedule and scowled when he noticed that he had French first.

Figures.

"Hey, sorry for the wait," Sora huffed as he slipped out of the room, pulling a reluctant blond with him. "Hey Axel, how's it going?" Sora looked over the redhead once, nodded, before that all too familiar gleam entered his eyes. "I hear you're the vice-captain of the kendo club, Axel. Can I interview you...along with your captain?"

Axel's brows rose. "Is it going to be on me, the club, or the captain, little Sora?"

"Got me." Shrugging once, the brunette pointed to the blond beside him. "This is Roxas, my cousin. He just transferred to Trinity. Rox, this is my best friend, Riku, and his friend, Axel."

"Ouch, Sora. That smarted. You sayin' I'm not good enough to be your friend?"

Sora grinned again. "Get me that interview, Axel, and you'll be my bestest friend in the world."

"A journalist and you use language like 'bestest'." Roxas shook his head a little as he smirked. "No wonder Cloud-nii doesn't want you writing that feature."

"Hey! Just whose side are your on?"

"Anyway." Roxas grinned, completely ignoring Sora, and turned those brilliant blue eyes onto the two of them. Releasing a breath, Riku felt his brows rise as he noted the similarity between Sora's and Roxas' eyes.

That's it. This is proof. Every single Hashiba's got those damned blue eyes and that's that.

"It's great meeting you and all, but I gotta go." Staring down at his schedule, Roxas frowned. "I'll see you later, Sora."

The moment Roxas disappeared down the hall, Axel slipped that arm back around Sora's neck. "So, little Sora. Mind telling me all the deets on that delicious cousin of yours?"

"Roxas is straight." Sora rolled his eyes. "I gotta go too. See you guys!"

Riku sighed, watching that chain on Sora's bum jingle happily as the brunette disappeared into the hallway. Axel, catching that wistful look in his friend's eyes, shook his head. "Dude, why don't you just tell him you think he's got one fine ass? Sora's gay anyway. Any gay man would go for you."

"Except Sora," Riku muttered. Shaking his head a little, Riku sighed. "Get going. We're gonna be late."

---

Roxas sighed, puttering out his lips as he slammed his head against a locker. The room stank of socks and sweat, but the blond had absolutely no qualms about this particular room if it meant he'll have two minutes—just _two minutes_—of freedom.

You'd think, in a school where there are people who look like they belong in magazines every time you turned a corner, people will get used to beauty.

Apparently not.

"It's because you're Sora's cousin," Tidus Honda had explained to him during second period. "The Hashibas are pretty big around campus. And the fact that you look as...ah, _innocent_ as Sora doesn't hurt either."

"Don't worry about it," Riku had added in fourth period when their English teacher had gone out to grab some papers from the office department. "The girls will die down after a while. It did with Sora."

Releasing yet another sigh, Roxas picked himself from the locker and stood. Unlocking the black lock Sora had provided for him the night before, he took out a pair of sweats and a white tee. Dumping the contents onto the bench beside him, the blond pursed his lips as he yanked his own tank over his head. Frowning at the small piece of navy before him, Roxas briefly wondered if maybe he should have gone with a tank after all.

Didn't that just kind of _broadcast_ he's with the Hashibas, what with Sora's new outfit and Cloud's own black tank? For all he knew, it could be a tradition that the Hashibas wore tanks on the first day of school.

Roxas wouldn't know. He was in America.

"Are you gonna stand there half naked for the rest of the period?" someone asked.

Turning, Roxas grinned when he recognized the redhead Sora had been talking to just after homeroom. "Not that I'm complaining," Axel continued, discarding his own pants.

"Oh hey. Axel right?" Roxas shrugged, eyeing as those toned muscles were revealed from the cargo pants the redhead had been wearing before. "Sorry, I was just thinking."

"Pretty Boy no.2," Axel nodded, grabbing the sweats. "I know. Everyone's been talking." He smirked when the blond groaned from beneath the tee. Stuffing his own clothing back into his locker, he briefly smacked his lips at the black boxers Roxas was wearing. "Good luck not drowning in those girls, blondie."

Annoyed, the blond had stuck his head out from that gigantic tee just in time to see the redhead walk off. Scowling, deciding that Sora's friends were all weird after all, he turned to his bench for his pants.

Only to frown at the empty bench.

"Goddammit, you bastard!"

Outside, walking out of the gym to the track, Axel grinned when he heard the frustrated yell from the locker room. Clucking his tongue, staring down at the sweats currently hugging his frame, he grinned.

"I told you to stop standing around half naked, blondie."

---

The entire table watched away in something like fearful admiration. Sora, oblivious to the stares—or, maybe he'd just gotten so used to them, he doesn't even care anymore—chopped away, cutting down the parsley into small bits before moving onto the white onion.

"I mean, you'd think that I, being his brother and all, would have had some, I don't know, _importance_ to him," the brunette suddenly exploded, turning onto the shocked redhead beside him. Kairi, who had long since given up on her portion of their home ec. assignment watched and backed away a little, eyeing the knife Sora was waving around sporadically.

Cooking, Kairi knew, was Sora's favorite pastime. He was definitely his mother's son, inheriting the famous Setsuna Hashiba's miraculous hands when it came to the kitchen. The brunette cooked when he was too happy, when he was depressed, when he was stressed, and especially when he was mad. It was just everyone's good luck that Sora had found out about his little news just before their home economics class.

"But nooo," Sora continued, turning back to the garlic he'd moved onto and slammed into the tiny piece of spice with all the anger and frustration he felt. "Of _course_ he'd accept the interview with _Aerith_. After all, what's a little brother to the _great_ Cloud Hashiba? Even though that little brother had been the one to fix his teddy when he ripped it accidentally."

A couple of eavesdropper chuckled at this bit of information. Kairi rolled her eyes. Why was it that she was always playing peacemaker anyway? One of these days, she'll get mad and then the word will end because nobody else knows how to keep their own anger in check.

"Sora," she said, watching as the fuming teen dump an onion into a bowl of water and chopped the whole thing, to her amazement, without so much as a teary eye. She'd have to remember this the next time she was making onion soup. "It's only a _rumor_ that Cloud accepted that interview."

"Kairi," Sora grounded, turning those flashing blue eyes onto the redhead, sprinkling the seasoning he'd been preparing over the parleyed chicken. "I heard from one of my most reliable sources, okay? There is _no way_ the information is wrong."

Actually, it wasn't. Kairi had been there when Cloud said yes to Aerith's interview proposal. But there was no way Sora was _ever_ finding that out from her. She happened to like her neck with its new dainty choker from the Flash Flare line.

"And don't even ask," Sora added just as Kairi opened her mouth. "There's no way I'm talking about my sources." He placed the entire tray into an oven, slammed it shut, and turned back to start wiping down everything he'd used.

Pouting, Kairi rolled her eyes but consented when the delicious scent of honeyed chicken wafted over to her nose. Walking over to her own oven, she grinned as she checked the platinum door. The quiet 'ding!' sounded just as she'd found the oven mitts, hidden under a pile of radish. Taking out her own dish, with compliments to Sora, she placed it gingerly along the line of the other seven to eight dishes lined at their table.

"My God, I should thank the older Hashiba," someone muttered, staring at the row of dishes Sora had made.

Kairi grinned. "Chicken, anyone?"

---

Cloud stopped.

Eyes narrowed as the soft padding behind him stopped as well. Frowning a little, the blond started walking again, slower, his pace quieter. There, behind him, was the definite sound of footsteps. Eyes narrowed a little, muscles taut, he sucked in a breath as his body readied for battle.

A stalker, eh? Well, Cloud'll take care of that.

Suddenly running, he rounded the corner of the building, eyes gleaming as the dojo sped into view. Blond spikes ruffled in the afternoon breeze, brushing against his face in feathery touches. Behind him, his stalker dashed, trying to keep in pace with the racing blond.

And suddenly, Cloud stopped.

Whirling around, his bamboo sword ready, his eyes widened as they caught sight of the familiar flame tips. The sword inches from ramming into that tall, proud nose, Cloud stopped.

"Oh my _God, I almost died._" Axel gasped, releasing his breath all in one swoosh. Eyes wide, clutching his heart like a lifeline, the redhead stared at the sword that'd been pointing at his face only a second before. "Cloud, you can kill someone with that thing!"

"Axel! What the Hell are you doing!" Cloud demanded, dropping his sword in favor of checking his club mate. Eyes narrowed as he examined the redhead's nose. "Do you have any idea how close you came in eating my sword?"

"_Yes_." Axel gripped, emphasizing the word as he narrowed his eyes at his captain. "If I was a second later in my reaction, I bet that pretty sword of yours would've been up my—"

"Why the Hell are you following me?"

"I love you and wanna confess to you," Axel snorted.

"You _are_!"

Axel sighed. He loved Cloud, as much as just about anybody else in the school, sure. After all, the guy was rich, hot, nice, and has the most kickass stance when it comes to beating the crap out of his opponents. What's not to like?

But, sometimes, it felt as though the guy's a little too clueless for his own good.

Then again, he was Sora's brother. That's gotta say something.

Thinking back to the other blond Hashiba, Axel smirked as he picked up Cloud's sword and slung it over his shoulder. Maybe it was a Hashiba thing; maybe they just have a clueless gene that's prone to no one but them.

"Yea, capt'n. I'm in love with you—that's why I hit on you all the time." Recognizing the teasing tone, Cloud snorted as he started walking towards the dojo again. Jogging alongside the blond, Axel raised a brow at the scowl in those blue eyes. "But, speaking 'bout your captaincy and all, what's this I hear about you accepting an interview?"

"What about it?" Cloud muttered, as he threw open the door.

"Well, I thought you didn't want an article written."

"I don't."

"Cloud!" Frowning, stopping his captain before he could reach for a guard, he scowled as Cloud merely turned towards the next guard. Planting his hand onto the guard, he glared. "Don't you know it's not nice to ignore people? You can hurt their feelings."

Cloud sighed. "Did Sora tell you to come bug me?"

"Yes." Axel shrugged. "But I also wanna know. I heard he made a whole row of food in class. Don't you wanna know what's got him so pissed?"

Cloud shrugged, copying Axel's move from earlier. He already knew what's gotten Sora in such a bad mood. His brother never did like to lose his bone to someone else. "Me," he said, and snatched a helm before Axel could block him.

"Ha! So you do know! Why are you doing this to your own brother?"

Even as Axel watched, Cloud walked over to the front of the dojo. By then, the club should have started. Members milled around the area, awaiting their new captain. An immediate hush descended over the group as Cloud entered the room, followed quickly by Axel.

"Everyone," Cloud said, projecting his voice so that the last two idiots all the way over at that corner would come to their senses. He raised a brow as they sprang apart, looking guiltily over to where the captain stood with the vice-captain. The girl muttered a quick goodbye and left, leaving her boyfriend alone.

"Looks like everyone's back," Axel grinned, interrupting Cloud's next words. Amber eyes turned onto his captain beside him, making sure that he hadn't interrupted anything major. Pleased with the slightly annoyed expression Cloud threw him, Axel turned back to the group.

"Did you all enjoy the parties and the sex?" Everyone laughed. "Tomoshiro there looked like he was doing just _fine_," Axel added causing the guy from before blushed. "It's good to see the old faces back. And to the new innocent lambs, I'm vice-cap Axel Akuseru. That's A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?"

Cloud shook his head, rolling his eyes a little. As usual, the redhead did nothing but smirk back. "And this, here, is our own national level captain, Cloud Hashiba."

Cloud had just stepped up to say his little greetings when Axel had added, "Our own resident teddy lover."

And, much like Roxas had done a few hours earlier, the blond blushed. However, much to Axel's disappointment, the captain didn't rage. Instead, he merely stood by Axel again, leaned in close, and whispered.

"Axel you bastard, you're so dead."

**Chapter End**

**Author's Corner**

Okay, to anyone who might have had French heritage and read this: absolutely no insult was meant with the previous statement about the French. Frankly, I like people who can scream and rage when they want. It was a _stereotype_ and yes, I know stereotypes are bad, wrong, unethical, and doesn't pertain to everyone and all that. But, for the purpose of this fanfic, we'll just have Axel and Riku a bit blindsided, okee? ;

Notice that I didn't have Sora add the "sempai" honorific on Leon. _Intentional_. It would have gotten annoying to add honorifics to every little greeting. (Because, then, technically we would have to add "san" onto Roxas' whole introduction thing, and never mind the future scenes I have in mind and I didn't want the KH crew to become too anime oriented.) So, again, Japanese would be very limited.

Please don't email me about the little bits of Japanese I'll be inputting into this story. It's wouldn't be worth it because, if there was a mistake, I would most likely NOT go back to fix it.

**Next Chapter  
Chapter 02: The Football, the Tonsils, the Bath, and Astrophysics**  
_Riku:_ Tidus really need to learn to control himself. Scratch that, _Selphie_ need to learn to control herself. No, scratch that, _I_ need to learn to control myself. Actually, screw self-control. We should all just go to the nearest motel and get rid of all these horny hormones. Did you hear that Sora? Sora?

**End**

Thanks for reading! Please take a little time and review!

**Edited by: Wake-Robin  
Last Checked: July 31, 2006**


	3. Football, Tonsils, Bath, Astrophysics

**SO FUNNY I CAN CRY**  
By: Yukisora

**Chapter 02  
The Football, the Tonsils, the Bath, and Astrophysics**

---

"_You told me to make lemonade. But I don't think it worked."_  
—Cynthia Kwan

---

"Yo!" someone cried out.

Tidus turned. Eyes steady, catching the hazel brown eyes of his teammate far down the court, the blond immediately swirled his body around again, faking his opponent. Watching as his spotter struggled to follow, he immediately swirled in the opposite direction, giving Hayner that one-second warning that he was free.

Then he had the ball.

Before the other team knew what was happening, Tidus was already halfway down the court in all his glory of navy and white, the number twelve flashing against the sea of basketball players. The tiny ball of orange bounced between the ground and his hands, switching position with his body effectively as others strove to grab at the ball. The way he moved was almost as if he was dancing, anticipating his partner's movements, weaving through the people with a grace that only those born talented have.

Selphie Yutaka raised a brow as both Sora and Kairi jumped up from their seats when Tidus dunked the ball into the basket. All the Trinity supporters rose up in cheers, chanting "Trinity! Trinity! Trinity!" while the cheerleaders waved their little blue and white pom-poms down below.

Selphie scowled.

She didn't even understand why she had to come to this stupid thing. "To support Riku!" Kairi had said a few hours ago when she'd dragged her into their school's gym. "Don't you wanna watch us kick Hakai Gakuen's butts to the Netherlands?"

_Frankly, no, she didn't,_ Selphie thought darkly as a particularly curvy brunette sidled up to Tidus to congratulate them on their win. Scowling a little, turning away as though the sight of the blond offended her, she watched as Sora rammed Riku in his traditional congratulatory hug.

"Oh man that was hot!" Kairi was saying, fanning her flushed cheeks as they made their ways out of the stands. "Did you see when Tidus dunked that last shot? God, who knew he could jump so high?"

Selphie rolled her eyes. Turning back to see if Sora was coming with Riku anytime soon, her eyes rose when they caught sight of the previous cheerleader smacked in a deep game of tonsil hockey with Tidus.

"Whoa," Kairi said with eyes wide. "What the Hell is Tidus doing!"

Shrugging a little, Selphie rolled her eyes as she pulled Kairi out by her hands. Her friend turned all the way around, walking backwards, eyes riveted on the scene behind them. "Come _on_, Kai. Who _cares_ what that blind monkey is doing? We'll wait for Sora and Riku outside."

"Sorry Selph," Kairi said, tugging free from Selphie's grip. She smiled a little as she turned back to her friend. "Do you mind waiting outside for a minute? I'll go look for Sora and Riku to tell them we're outside."

"Whatever." Sulky, her brows drew together in a deep scowl, as Selphie rolled her eyes and stalked out of the gym. What a waste of a Saturday. She could have been shopping in Kaido-Sen, buying fifty different outfits by now. Instead, she'd wasted it on a smelly gym watching the Boy-Who-Is-Blind dunking oversized oranges into baskets.

Urgh.

Stalking over to a tree—so that she could see, clearly, when her friends came out _and_ where she would be shaded from that sun at the same time—she leaned against the harsh trunk. Shaking her own brown locks from her face, she frowned as she noticed that she was still sweating from the gym.

"Hey there."

Selphie turned. Eyes brightened as she recognized Demyx Karagi from the drama club. Hazel green eyes grinned down at her as he closed the distance between them. Slinging his gigantic sitar behind him, he tilted his head a little, as a brow rose. "What are you doing here on a perfectly nice Saturday?"

Selphie rolled her eyes. "I was just asking myself that question."

She'd partnered with Demyx in the past few productions for their schools. The guy was a really great actor, what with his photographic memory. Even more than that little advantage, though, was the fact that he had the uncanny ability of expressing every emotion he felt onto that adorably tanned face of his. When he wanted to, that is.

"Did sensei tell you anything about the new play yet?" Demyx asked, placing his instrument down so that he could talk to her properly.

"No, she said she wanted to surprise us." Selphie shrugged once. Turning her own green eyes onto Demyx's, she looked up from beneath her lashes as her lips spread into a mischievous grin. "But according to Sora Hashiba—don't ask me how he got his info, I dunno. But he's right most of the time. Anyway, according to Sora, Sachiko-sensei's finally decided on a musical."

"You're kidding!" Laughing when Selphie shook her head no, he jumped up into the air, blond hair flying. "Are you sure Hashiba's got his info correct?"

"Like I said, Sora's right most of the time."

"HA!" Grabbing her around her shoulder, he swung her around in a circle before putting his club mate back down. "I can't believe that old bat finally caved!"

"Hold on, Dem. Sora said musical, he never said _good_ musical. For all we know, we could be doing a rendition of the Christmas Carol."

Just as Demyx opened his mouth to inform her that Sachiko might be an old bat, but she wasn't an _insane_ old bat, loud cheers rang through the front of the entrance. Turning, both teens raised their brows at the Trinity Academy's basketball team, who were sauntering out of the gym, freshly washed but still flushed from their victory.

"Sora! Riku!" Selphie called out, waving her arms as she noticed her two friends. Kairi, catching sight of their jumping friend, grinned and pointed in their direction. The throng of kids shifted as the basketball team's star and ace headed in her direction.

"No, Dem, don't run off!" Selphie pouted, pulling at the blond's sleeves as he made to pick up his sitar. "I promise they don't bite. And anyway, don't you wanna verify the info with Sora yourself?"

Demyx grinned. "Darling, I trust anything you say and everything you do."

Smirking, recognizing the line from one of their earlier performances in the drama club, Selphie lowered her eyes to bat her lashes. "Oh, you smooth talker," she purred in the saucy tone Stacey the barmaid would use. "You know I can't resist anything when you pull that devilish grin."

Laughing, kissing her quickly on her cheeks, he waved at her just as the others arrived.

"What was that?" Tidus frowned, staring at Demyx's retreating back.

"Was that Demyx Karagi?" Kairi added, frowning at Selphie too. She stepped from behind Riku and Sora and raised a brow when Selphie scowled at Tidus.

"What were you two doing?" Tidus pressed on. "Why the hell did he kiss you?"

Scowling at Tidus, Selphie turned to Sora and smiled. "I told Dem about your news. You know, the musical. We've been trying to get sensei to pass one since _forever_."

"Well, you finally have your wish don't you?" Sora smiled just as Tidus pressed, "Dem? You call him Dem?"

"Selphie, what's this about?" Riku asked. He laid a hand onto his friend's shoulder, noting the quiet anguish that was wracking Tidus.

"Drama club teacher, Sachiko-sensei, officially declared to the president of the drama club, Rikku Somna yesterday after school of the acceptance of the musical 'Twilight Town'." Sora recited as he pushed his notebook back into his book bag. He shrugged. "Until the official announcement though, it'll be just another speculation."

"But Sora—"

"Although," Smirking a little to himself, Sora looked up into Riku's eyes as he added, "I _did_ hear it from one of my most reliable sources."

Shaking his head, Riku rolled his eyes as he ruffled the brown nest on his best friend's head. "One of these days Sora's going to own the information network for our government."

"Ew," the brunette grimaced, wrinkling his nose in distaste. "Who wants to work for the government?"

"But that's not what we were talking about!" Tidus cried. "Who's Demyx Karagi? Why the Hell was he kissing you?"

"Um, that's none of your business?" Selphie sneered, turning her eyes away from the offensive blond again. "Just because _you_ saw me as a football doesn't mean every single guy in school sees me as the same thing!"

"Listen here, Selphie Yutaka—"

"NOPE! Not listening!"

"Selphie! Stop being so—"

"What?" Rounding on the blond, fuming, Tidus jumped when he saw genuine distaste in her face for the very first time. Her eyes, usually so happy and cheerful, now glowered at him as though he was the bug stuck at the bottom of her shoes.

"Stop being so _what_ exactly?" Selphie continued. "So _football_-like?"

"I did _NOT_ see you as a—"

"You know, you're such a hypocritical bastard," Selphie interrupted again, poking a finger into Tidus's chest. "You're all over my case because Demyx gave me a friendly kiss on the cheek when you were all over that brunette cheerleader down at the gym. Oh, I'm sorry, did she maybe _trip_ all over you and happened to connect tongues?"

"_YES_!"

"Buzz off, monkey boy," Selphie sniffed. Rounding from Tidus, she gripped onto the edges of her new white sundress as she stalked over the school grounds. Determined to get to Kaido-Sen before the afternoon's gone, she stalked to the waiting car parked by the streets.

"Mall," she grounded out as her chauffer closed the door quietly. She sniffed again when she saw Kairi running towards her, eyes worried. For a second, she wondered if she should leave like this. Then, remembering why she was even here on the first place, she sniffed again. "Step on it."

What a waste of a Saturday.

---

"Stop moping."

To Roxas' amusement, the moment Sora demanded Tidus to stop moping, the blond dumped his head further into the pool. Bubbles rose from the depth of the water, probably from a groan, as the athlete sunk deeper into the shimmering blue.

After that fiasco with Selphie at the school entrance, Sora had talked Tidus into hanging over at the Hashiba home. Now, sitting at the edge of the pool, the blond athlete was doing his utmost to drown himself in the pod shaped pool.

"Tidus," Sora sighed, stalking over in an attempt to physically _force_ Tidus out of the pool. "Stop doing that!" Pulling at the blond's legs, he raised the two appendages into the air. Groaning, since the blond wasn't budging, Sora sighed and released Tidus.

"Tidus!"

A gurgle sounded as a response.

"Dammit, Tidus Honda, stop it now!" And with that said, Kairi promptly reached over and pushed the blond entirely into the water with a gigantic splash.

"What the fuck! Kairi!" Tidus yelled once he resurfaced.

"Sora _said_ to stop moping!"

"I was _sulking_! Kinda different from moping!" Growling, shaking his hair lose from the water, he stalked over to grab a towel. His bare chest glistened in the sun, droplets of water running down to caress taut muscles as he followed their trail with the fluffy white towel.

Frowning a little, Roxas turned back to his PSP.

"I have every right to mope! After all, Selphie _hates_ me."

"Didn't you once say that it's better than not knowing you're alive?" Riku pointed out from the pool.

"I was young and naïve, okay?" Scowling, Tidus plopped onto the chair beside Roxas, turning his head towards the gigantic green and white umbrella above him.

"You were never naïve when you were young," Riku snorted.

"Why the Hell does she hate me so much anyway!"

"Well, gee," was the dry reply from Kairi, as she flipped onto the next page of the magazine. "Maybe because of that whole football thing—and then, maybe that whole Yuna thing too."

"_She_ fell on _me_! I didn't even do anything!"

Sighing a little when his Wolverine died for the tenth time, Roxas promptly shut his game and dumped it beside him. Turning to face the agitated athlete, he raised his brows a little before adding, "Since I wasn't there I can't be sure but, don't you think she might have been jealous?"

"No," Tidus answered immediately, turning onto his stomach to smother his face against his towel. "There's no way. She was just mad that I was accusing her of being a football."

Again, Roxas raised a brow. "A foot—?"

"YES, a football, okay?" Raising his head long enough to glare at Roxas, Tidus sighed before flopping back down. "I already regret it enough."

"But, _why_?"

"Let us reintroduce you, Rox," Sora suddenly said. Pointing at the desolate teen, he nodded once. "Rox, meet Dumber_er_—the world's largest idiot when it comes to girls."

"Like you're so much better, Sora!" Tidus scowled. "Isn't that why you're gay?"

"Um, no. I'm gay because I'm smart enough to realize that girls are too much trouble and not worth the effort." Sora retorted, just before a magazine flew at his head. "Eh, except you, Kai. Always except you."

"Maybe I should become gay," Roxas heard Tidus mutter.

"It's not like you have a choice, Tidus," Roxas shrugged. "I mean, it depends on what you're attracted to. You can't _force_ yourself to like guys, just like Sora can't force himself to like Kairi."

This time, a magazine flew at Roxas' head.

"But Roxas is right," Sora said, as he too walked over to where they were sitting. However, rather than sitting on the chairs, he plopped onto the cement floor and grabbed at a strawberry smoothie. "Don't give up on Selph because of this—maybe she really was jealous."

"No," Tidus repeated. "Not possible."

"Personally, I thought it might be possible too," Kairi frowned. "If Selphie _really_ doesn't care, why would she get so mad when you called her a football in the first place?"

"Kairi, won't _you_ be mad if I called you a football?"

"Of _course_ I would, you idiot!" Kairi blinked. "But I won't _hate_ you for it."

"Ha! So you admit it! Selphie hates me!"

The sudden onslaught of gallons of water slamming onto all of them was unexpected. Jumping from his position, Tidus turned to stare at Riku who was lounging leisurely in the pool, silver hair fanning behind him like a mermaid's might.

"Just to cool you all down," he shrugged in reply to their stares. "You were all so heated up on it."

"_Riku!_" Sora pouted, eyes narrowing at his smoothie. "You destroyed my smoothie!"

"Well, you were all arguing over something stupid!" Riku shrugged. "What does it _matter_ if Selphie hates you? So you called her a football. It's not as if you can't fix these things. _Make_ her like you—she's a girl. Get Kairi to help."

Looking straight into Tidus' eyes, Riku raised a brow, demanding that Tidus run from the challenge. "Deal."

_Deal. Deal with it._ Scoffing a little to himself, Tidus snorted a little as he chuckled. What the Hell had Riku been thinking trying to give him a pep talk?

"Fuck off, Sugisaki," he smirked as he jumped into the pool. Dunking Riku under the water, he laughed as Riku yanked him down to gain freedom. "Who are you to give me advice when you can't even get your own crush to like you back?"

"Huh? Riku has a crush on someone?" Sora asked, smoothie completely forgotten.

"Shut up, Honda!" Riku yelled, slamming Tidus down into the water.

"Riku! Who's your crush?" Sora yelled, joining into the water fight.

Riku, ignoring Sora's question, splashed him with water. Grinning at the affronted look Sora gave him, he immediately ducked as the next splash came at him. Diving under the pool, he yanked at Sora's ankles once before racing towards the opposite end. Laughing, checking once to make sure Sora was okay, his eyes widened when he saw the brunette speeding towards him.

Quickly jumping out of the water he rounded the corner and ran into the house laughing the entire time. Sora, quick to follow, reached the door just as Riku ran up the top of the stairs.

"Get back here, Riku Sugisaki!" Sora yelled, running up after his friend.

"No way in Hell, Hashiba!" his friend replied.

Dashing up the steps, disregarding the carpet completely—and the fact that he was wetting it—he jumped the final steps only to stop short. There, at the center of the hallway, stood Riku, ears boxed between the fearful fingers of Tohruu. Her eyes flashed as she caught sight of the second culprit in this heinous crime.

"Master Sora Hashiba," Tohruu's eyes narrowed as she regarded the second heir to the house, where she worked. "I am thoroughly disappointed in you."

Cursing silently in his mind, Sora let his blue eyes droop as he looked down towards the ground. Staring at the puddle he'd formed with Riku, he pouted as he realized that, indeed, Tohruu would have a hard time taking these water stains from the Persian carpet.

"You know better than to run into the house all wet and dripping!" Tohruu continued, reaching forward to box Sora's ears too. "I taught you better than that—the _mistress_ taught you better than that!"

"I'm sorry, Ruu-chan," Sora muttered, wincing as she twisted his ears. He let his eyes look up, impossibly wide, with enormous hope as she loosened her grip.

"Don't you give me those eyes," Tohruu scowled, as she dragged the two boys to the nearest bathroom. "Do you know how long it'll take me to take the water out? And how quickly I have to do it so that it won't ruin the carpet? I bet your father would be just so happy to come home and find out he'll have to replace the carpet for the entire second floor hallway."

"I'm sorry," Riku muttered. "It's all my fault. If you want, I can com—"

"Don't you even _think_ about compensation!" Tohruu scold. Throwing two clean towels to the boys, her eyes roamed over the two frames as she stalked out of the room. "I'll get those carpets done, so don't even _think_ about coming out until you're both dry and clean!"

And with the quiet click of the door, Tohruu disappeared.

Staring down at the floor, Sora frowned as he dumped the towel onto a nearby rack. "We might as well, Riku," he sighed. Shaking his head a little to fling the excess water from his hair, he turned only to find that Riku was staring at his own hands. "Riku?"

"Urhnngh?"

Sora frowned. "Riku?"

Riku coughed. "Erhm, yea?"

"Are you okay?" Reaching forward, the brunette frowned again when he saw how red his friend's cheeks were. "Are you sick?"

"Eh. No." Shaking his head a little, Riku moved away from Sora's seeking hands. Throwing his own towel at the rack next to Sora's, he blushed again, as he nodded at the bathing room. "So, ah, wanna go first or should I?"

"What are you talking about?" Sora raised a brow. "It's big enough for the both of us." Catching the look from Riku's face he added, "You know Dad's an ofuro freak. He redid all the bathrooms in the second and third floor last year."

Following Sora into the next room, Riku briefly wondered if maybe he was dreaming. After all, there was no way in Hell that Sora was going to _bathe_ with him, right? He had to be dreaming. That's right, it's all a dream.

God, please don't let me wake up anytime soon.

Swallowing deeply, he turned away for a second, as Sora changed out of his trunks and into the towels that were readied for them in the second room. Coughing a little as the brunette began washing himself, he sighed once before stripping himself of his pants too.

By the time he'd plucked up enough nerve to join Sora in the bathing room, the brunette had already settled into the bubbling ofuro. Walking over to the showerhead, he let the cold water drip over his body as he turned to Sora.

"So," the brunette grinned as he turned sapphire blue eyes onto his best friend. "Now that you can't run, Ri-ku...who's your crush and how come I haven't heard of this yet?"

Blushing slightly, Riku rolled his eyes as he got into the tub with Sora. Stretching out his legs, he sighed as the water rolled over his chest. "What are you talking about?" he huffed, turning a bland eye over to where Sora was grinning. "You don't actually believe what Tidus said, do you?"

"Well, you haven't been on a date for a while haven't you?"

Riku raised a brow. "You noticed?"

Sora grinned. "Duuh. People were starting to wonder if you'd lost your touch." Ducking as Riku threw the bottle of strawberry scented shampoo at him, Sora laughed. "Seriously. Who is it?"

He swallowed. Staring into those blue eyes was going to be his undoing. Quickly averting his gaze, he splashed the water a little so that the room wouldn't be so obviously silent as Sora waited for an answer. He ran his tongue across his lips, tasting the chlorine from the pool as his mind tried to think of a way around this.

"Riku?" he heard Sora ask, as a hand reached forward to touch his forehead again. "Why can't you tell me?"

Kairi had been urging him to tell Sora how he felt since she first found out about his little crush—even before _Riku_ realized that he had that crush. Axel had been urging him to act on his desires ever since Sora pronounced himself gay to the whole school in an article titled "We Like _Guys_ Not Leeches".

Then there was the whole butt thing.

"Riku?" he heard the teen murmur again, leaning forward to check his face. "Are you okay?"

Riku swallowed, his mouth going dry. The fumes in the room, mixed in with the steam from the ofuro, and the delicious scent of strawberries that clung to Sora's frame wracked Riku's mind.

_Just tell him_, his head exploded, having endured enough of being so damned close to Sora and unable to do anything. _ANYTHING!_

"I need to tell you something!"

---

Cloud sighed, feeling drained as he walked out of the library. Scratching his head a little, he winced as the brilliant shine from the sun shot directly into his eyes. After that hour session in that little dark room with Aerith, his eyes were screaming their complaints.

Shielding them from the sun, he tightened his hold on his library books before walking down the steps. People laughed as they dashed through the campus. Couples laughed under the quiet rushing water of the fountain. Settling onto a vacant seat, Cloud sighed.

_"Cloud, I think Sora hates me now."_

_"Sora's incapable of hate, Aerith. You know that."_

And after that long conversation about whether they should really do this or not, and Aerith kicking herself over this whole ordeal, they'd finally started the whole interview. Questions flew at him, one after another, in rapid succession with Aerith writing in a way that Cloud would have thought impossible had he not seen it.

_"Do you feel confident about the new team?"_

_"Yes."_

_"And are you confident that you will bring Trinity to the nationals this coming year?"_

_"Yes."_

_"What are your views about the division between the girl and boy teams?"_

And so on and so forth. Shaking his head a little, Cloud stood. He reached over for his books, only to find that they were stacked below a whole pile of other books. Raising his brows at this, he frowned at the teen sitting beside him.

"Hey, are these yours?" he asked, pointing at the papers.

The other guy blinked from his staring contest with the screen. Frowning, cobalt eyes narrowed against the sun as they looked up at Cloud, which then turned to his books, before he began nodding.

"Yea."

"My stuff's under that," Cloud rolled his eyes. "Do you mind...?"

"Oh, yea. I mean, no." Reaching over, he grabbed his stuff and dumped them onto the ground. Sure that they were in a pile, he turned back to his laptop and continued clicking away.

Scowling a little, annoyed for some strange reason, Cloud snatched up his books before turning away. He'd just passed by the tennis courts, on his way toward his house, when he heard someone call.

"Cloud!"

Turning just in time to see a green ball whizzing towards him, his eyes widened for a fraction of a second before instinct took over. Dropping his books, he crouched, feeling the ball hurtle past the very tips of his hair.

"Cloud!" Tifa Iwasaki rushed over from the courts, her dark hair flying behind her as she caught up to the blond. "I'm so sorry! I over-hit the last shot. Are you okay?"

"Fine," Cloud shook his head as though to deny his statement. Looking up, he raised a brow and smirked at the worry on her face. "Yes Tifa, I was hit. That's why I'm suffering from brain damage right now."

"You've always _been_ brain damaged," the girl huffed. "Don't blame my ball." Smirking a little, she stooped down to help him with his books.

"Thanks," he said when she gave him the last book. Frowning at the cover, his eyes narrowed at the caption. "This isn't mine," he said.

"Hm?" Peering over his shoulders, Tifa raised a brow. "Complex," she said, eyeing the black hole and the line of theories and equations pertaining to astrophysics.

"It's not mine," Cloud repeated. Frowning, his mouth fell open as he remembered the guy from before. Flipping the cover open to the first page, his eyes fell onto the name, Squall Leonhart. "It's Leonhart's."

"Ohh." Shrugging, satisfied that the mystery was solved, Tifa grabbed her ball and waved. "Anyway, sorry about that Cloud," she said before running back to her game.

Staring down at the astrophysics text, Cloud briefly wondered if he should go back to where the teen was probably sitting. Thinking a little to himself, he suddenly slipped the book back onto his stack and continued walking away.

Whatever. If Leonhart needed this text, he'd come find Cloud.

---

Leon sighed. Looking up from the piles of papers his editors had dumped onto him, he cricked his neck a little only to notice that the sky was turning a steady orange. Sighing, getting up from his seat, he dusted his pants as he slipped the papers back into the folder.

It wasn't as though he didn't trust his editors. God knew they noted his mistakes enough. And he was, already, absolutely positive that Sora was ready for the position of editor-in-chief for next term. The kid was a great reporter, excellent editor, and had a special talent of drawing people and respect like moth to flame. Not to mention, there were those sources of his. Not even Leon knew who the Hell they were.

Stretching, he reached down to grab his books. Snapping at a taxi, he settled into the seats and told the driver his address, before turning back to his own column. He'd just checked "Sally's" email address last night and was shocked to find the tons of emails already littered at the Inbox.

He'd currently replied to approximately twenty of them, handpicking out a few "favorites" to put into the column for the paper that month. His brows rose as he caught sight of the "HELP ME!" caption in the next email. Clicking onto the mail, he quickly scanned through a couple of lines, before sighing. The girl was so obviously talking about Tidus Honda.

_Confess_. He wrote. _The guy's not taken, he's—as far as we know—straight, and you're not completely hideous right? Tell him how you feel. If he rejects you, at least you'll stop worrying over whether he caught you staring and wondering if he thinks you're insane. If he doesn't reject you...well, isn't that a good thing then? Signed, Sally._

Checking his work once more to make sure that nothing indicated to Leon, he nodded once and clicked send. The next email came from someone named "Peachy Sea-Star" who wanted to know whether she should disobey her parents and join the drama club, or continue with the math team and be miserable.

Leon sighed again. Clicking the computer shut, he placed it back into his bag as the car slowed down in front of his house gate. Grabbing his books and checking to make sure he hadn't dropped anything, Leon paid the driver and walked over to his house. Opening the door, he walked through the green shrubbery, past the willow that hung over a little pond and slid open the door.

"Welcome home, Master Leon," two maids bowed. Reaching forward to take his books and his bags, a maid bowed once more to him before disappearing, presumably, to put his things away.

"Your father is away on business," the other maid said, reaching over to help him take off his jacket. "And your mother sends her best. She regrets that she will not be back until Christmas."

"Hm." Waving a hand to dismiss the girl, he walked down the hall. A couple of servants bowed at the young master of the Leonhart household, quietly calling out greetings. Stalking over to his room, Leon sighed as he flopped down onto his futon.

Eyeing the books the maid had placed neatly onto his desk, his eyes narrowed as he suddenly noticed how..._small_ his piles looked. Normally his books atleast touched the bottom of his lamp. But today, it barely reached the tip.

Walking over to his desk, Leon fumbled through the books, frowning, as he tried to remember which text he'd forgotten. Narrowing his eyes a little, Leon cursed as he realized his astrophysics text was missing. The one, he was sure, that still held his "Dear Sally" information.

"Damn!" he muttered, scouring in his bag to make sure he hadn't put it away by mistake. He KNEW he had brought that thing because he'd nearly dropped it into the fountain back at the...

_Fuck_.

Thinking back to the scene, Leon wracked his brain trying to remember if he taken the book from the stack. He _thinks_ he had taken it. It was friggin' neon green! He couldn't miss that!

Could he?

He wouldn't have forgotten it!

Would he?

"Master Leon," a maid bowed as she opened the door. "Your father just called and is waiting."

"Fine," Leon muttered, standing. Throwing a look at his books once more, the brunette sighed and ran a hand through his mane of hair.

"I got it."

**End Chapter**

**Author's Corner**

_Ofuro—Japanese bath._  
In Japan, you typically have two rooms in the bathroom so it's not because the Hashiba's are rich that they have two rooms. The sink is in one room and the shower and bath are in the other. (Toilets are in another room—though in some cases, can be in the same room as the sink) You wash yourself clean BEFORE you bath because baths are considered more as relaxation rather than a daily cleaning. The showers are usually cold/lukewarm water while the ofuro are hot.

Size of an ofuro can vary from a normal tub to the size of a large Jacuzzi.

_**NOTE!**_  
A couple of people asked for email notifications when the story's updated. If you're interested, you can sign up for the mailing list on my profile page or view my new site **Single Dream** under the fanfiction section. (link: http/www. /yukisora/enter.htm remove spaces when copying & pasting).

Heh, lotsa people seemed to have...overanalyzed the previous blurb...? Not that it was _intentional_ or anything...x It was fun reading your comments. Thanks!

**Next Chapter  
Chapter 03: Spring Fever**  
_Selphie_: If there's one thing this world does NOT need, it's blind monkeys. Unfortunately, Trinity's been accumulating too many blind monkeys lately, the top of the list being that...that Honda! There's been too many funky events going on—it's making my head hurt! I'm all for drama and all, but not when it's very much real with real emotions! Never mind that my _friends_, who are supposed to _be there for me_, have all forsaken me for their own problems...! Oh, woe is me!

**End**

Thanks for reading! Please take a little time and review!

Lots of greets,  
Yukisora

**Edited by: Wake-Robin  
Last Checked: August 13, 2006**


	4. Spring Fever

**SO FUNNY I CAN CRY**  
By: Yukisora

**Chapter 03  
Spring Fever  
**

**---**

"I will never run away. _Never_."  
"Okay. Then please excuse me while _I_ run away from this guy with an axe."  
— Joe and Bob from **_"Real Life"_**

**---**

Confessions are a funny thing.

Successful confessants spend months studying the schedules of their crushes, hoping to learn the perfect time and place to let their feelings be known. The perfect mood must be set. To lose the mood is detrimental to the overall operation. Timing must be perfect. You do NOT wish for your crush to be busy thinking of something other than YOU while you are confessing your love. Scenery, as a result, is a must.

Naturally, it's probably best if you have a couple of friends—or twenty—in on everything. Just in case anything goes wrong, a back-up never fails.

Popular confession sites include the cherry blossom paths in spring, a secluded area by the bay on a festive Summer night, in a meadow beneath the starry skies one autumn night, and the ever romantic bridge on a snowy day.

Now we last left our hero, the silver sex-god of Trinity Academy, _the_ Riku Sugisaki of _the _Sugisaki corporation, was professing love to _his_ one and only... in the middle of a bath... after being scolded by his crush's maid...

Well, there are always points for originality.

Sora, our darling naïve little child, the one being confessed to, naturally, only blinked.

The running water, as if timed, stopped, drowning the room in utter silence.

And somewhere nearby, a rubber duck floats past.

"Uh, okay?" Sora frowned, having waited in silence long enough. "Usually people _continue_ after that declaration."

Didn't _Riku_ know! However, since all he could think of was cherry blossoms, summer festivals, and all those _other_ places, as well as those places' successful confession rates, he only managed to reach forward, grab at the duck, and give it a few desperate squeezes.

Not that, of course, Sora was helping any with that tanned skin of his and those damnable water droplets practically _caressing_ his skin, as they dripped back into the bath. Damn gravity.

That poor duck shrieked.

"Hey, um, Riku. Mind letting go of the duck?" Sora asked, drawing closer to gently pry the duck out of his grasp. Looking up at him with those baby blue eyes of his, Riku gulped as his best friend turned right around and replaced the duck with the family sitting by the edge.

"So, what'd you wanna tell me?"

There were no cherry blossoms—unless you count the patterns that were on Sora's towel. There _were_ no fireworks from festivals, or a bridge, or any of those things that always guaranteed confession successes. Not to mention, wasn't Sora a romantic? Actually, scratch that. Sora was _definitely_ a romantic, if his choice of movies were any indication.

"Hel-looooo. Earth to Riku. Are you still there?"

Coughing a little and turning away from the expectant eyes, Riku swallowed as his eyes landed on, again, those muscles. "Right. Okay. So, Sora. You heard Tidus, right? About my crush?"

"Yeaaa," Sora frowned. "How come _I_ didn't hear about this before? Who's the girl?"

"You're quick to assume that it's a she."

"It's a _he_??"

"Why the Hell are you so surprised for?" Standing and feeling the beginnings of a flush, Riku shook his head. Bath or no, scenery or not, there was _no way_ he was going to be able to tell Sora he's got a thing for him while staring at Sora's naked chest.

Unfortunately for him, Riku left his lucky charm at home today. Snagging the teen before he could escape, Sora dumped Riku back into the water, threw a duck over at him, and grinned. "Who is he?"

"Sora, dammit, if you don't let me out I'm gonna—"

"Obviously I knew you were bi," Sora shrugged, waving away Riku's protests. "But you've _never_ gone for a guy before. Who is he? Gotta be something if even _you're_ interested."

"I didn't—I mean, I'm not..." Trailing off, Riku squeezed the offered duck as the hilarity of the situation hit him. _This_, if nothing else, was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever tried to do in his entire life... Confessing to his best friend in a bath and failing miserably at it.

"You know what. Sure, I'll tell you." Riku snorted. Slinging an arm around Sora, leaning so close that their breaths mingled, he smirked as Sora's breath hitched—before dunking him under the water. As Sora started to sputter, splashing water all around the furo, Riku smiled.

"It's you, you idiot."

Gasping, shaking the water out of his eyes, Sora wiped a few droplets from his lashes as he launched himself onto Riku. "Riku, you _bastard_! Stop doing that!"

"What are you talking about?" Grinning, pinning Sora's arms behind him, he leaned in close to inhale the strawberry scent that now clung to the brunette. "I was bearing my whole heart out to you. Don't tell me that you didn't hear?"

"Damn it, how could I when you dunked me?"

Riku shrugged. "Well, I'm not about to repeat it."

"Riku!!"

"Oh look, I think Tohruu's calling."

"_Riku!!_"

Throwing his robe on, he smirked, unable to resist the cute vibes practically radiating off Sora. Chuckling at the way the twin set of sapphire glared at him, lashes still dripping wet, he smirked at the pout Sora was struggling to hide.

"There's nothing Sora Hashiba doesn't know when it comes to Trinity, right?" Reaching down, Riku wiped the water from Sora's lashes, watching the other close his eyes trustingly, as his fingers came close to his eyes.

"Here's a _big_ clue. He goes to Trinity—and he's a complete idiot."

Tapping his nose, Riku grinned as he stepped back, just escaping Sora's retaliation. "Figure it out yourself," he laughed, as he walked out of the room. Eyes sparkling, emerald irises dancing against the soft golden light of the room, he grabbed a towel.

Slinging it around his neck, he briefly wiped a few beads of water from his neck.

"Figure it out, Sora."

---

_That_ little scene happened to occur yesterday.

Throwing himself woefully onto his bed, groaning like a woman about to give birth, the muffle scream vibrated throughout the room as Sora tried to suffocate himself in his pillow. Stuffing his face deeper into the indigo when he heard the quiet knock on his door, Sora growled when his mother came in.

"_Mo-om_, didn't you see the sign?"

Dumping the '_Keep Out! Mental-breakdown here!_' sign cheerfully onto her son's counter, she sauntered over to his gigantic waterbed, shifting until she found her comfy spot beside Sora. "Sure, honey. But I figured since I'm your mom and this is my house, I still have the right to enter and bug my son until he tells me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong."

"Well, you know, Cloud's last cooking attempt at the ootoro was pretty bad," Setsuna sang, cheerfully patting her son's hair. "Try again."

Sora groaned.

"There, honey. Just tell mama your problem, hm?" Smoothing out Sora's hair more insistently, as he stuffed his face deeper into his pillow, Setsuna frowned. "Do you want the kitchen? I can give our cook the night off."

"Mmmer aguu eckbluek..."

"Sorry, I don't understand pillow-talk." Pulling Sora away from his pillow, blue eyes frowned at her son as she caught the pout. "Okay, now tell me."

"I said, my mind's about to explode."

"Want to tell me why?"

Sora frowned. To be honest, he wasn't even sure _why_ his mind was in such...chaos. Lowering his eyes onto his bedcovers, Sora yanked at a strand of hair by his ear, trying to organize his thoughts into coherence. Maybe it was because he was the last to know about Riku's crush when, usually, he was the first to know everything that was happening.

"I just...Do people usually _challenge_ their friends to figure out who their secret crush is?" Sora asked, looking up to train his eyes onto his mother as he gauged her reaction. "I mean, I don't get it. Obviously _everyone_ knows who Riku's crush is—so why is he making me do this anyway? What's the deal?"

Sucking in a breath, relieved to know the cause for her baby's current anguish, Setsuna fell back onto the bed, twirling a brown curl and began trying to figure a way to explain. Really, sometimes she wondered what she did with her boys that made them so dense when it came to their own wellbeing and happiness.

"Well, the reasons are innumerable." She shrugged. "You know Riku—a lot better then I do. His reasoning is just...well, _Riku_."

"You'd think after all these years, he'd start making sense to me," Sora muttered.

"Why don't you tell me how you feel, Sora?" Smiling at the blank look Sora shot her, she waved a hand experimentally as she grasped for words. "Why are you so upset by this? Because you didn't know? Or is it because Riku has a crush?"

Sora rolled his eyes. "Oh mom, don't bring _that_ up," he groaned. "It was three years ago and I was going through that hormonal stage."

"Mm-hm..." Getting up from her seat, she dusted her pants a little, shrugging the emphasis of her reply. "Well, why don't you just concentrate on figuring out Riku's little crush then, instead of going crazy over it?"

Groaning deeply, eyes screwed shut and his face went straight back down.

---

Axel shuddered, feeling his own hair stand on ends as he leapt out of harm's way. Rushing to the back of the counter, safely hidden, he'd only managed to cover his ears, before a massive explosion resounded throughout the house.

He briefly wondered what would have happened if he _hadn't_ covered his ears.

Standing gingerly, carefully raising his head above the counter, amber eyes surveyed the usually spotless kitchen for a second and winced. _That_, he supposed, _was what would've happened_.

Coughing mercilessly, swiping at tresses that were both black and white, Riku Sugisaki hacked into his hands as he tried to cough up all the smoke he'd practically eaten when the mean turkey surprise he'd been trying to make gave them the biggest shock of all.

"Axel, you bastard! What the hell are you doing, hiding?" Waving the smoke away from his face, he attempted to reach for the turkey in the oven, burned his hands, swore in every language he knew, and swirled around to look for the mitt. "You could've at least pull me _in_ with you, bastard. _Help_ me, dammit."

"Uh...Okay." Reaching over his head, he threw the oven mitt over to his friend, only to duck back down when it hit Riku square on the nose. "Whoops."

"Axel!"

"Okay, okay." Walking over, grabbing the fallen mitts, he promptly reached over and took the turkey out from its poor burnt Hell. "Listen, Riku. I really don't think you should try this anymore. At least, not in my house."

"Great. You leave me to die here all alone—then abandon me and move on. What kind of friend _are_ you?"

"The kind that likes his house whole."

Disgusted at his failed plan, Riku glared into his own hands, as he tried to work out the soot from his sleeves. He had wanted to shock Sora with this delicious dish and have the brunette fall into his arms in absolute love and adoration. Why did he trust Axel when he told him he could cook?

_"Okay! Sure, I'll teach you how to cook!"_ Axel had said, throwing his hands up into the air. _"Now give my camera back!"_

_"No! I want—you can cook?"_

_"I had lessons, okay?"_

Well, it hadn't been okay. Staring at the room that looked as though a couple of giants, several typhoons, and a particularly hungry unicorn had ravaged through it, Riku groaned. No way was this okay.

The happy tinkling that penetrated the overbearing silence had him snapping out of his thoughts and Axel jumping from his position.

"My cell," he cried, throwing a couple of star fruits out of the way. "Where the Hell's my cell? Arrgh—ha!" He'd just grabbed it, flipped it open, and grunted out two hasty "hello?" when the skin of the bubbling turkey popped.

"_Ugh!_" Axel coughed, covering his nose as putrid fumes permeated throughout the kitchen. "What the—? Riku, did you put _vinegar_ into that turkey?"

"You _told_ me to!" Riku defended as he hastily dumped a cloth over the turkey. Who knows, maybe it'll cover some gas.

"No, I said _soy sauce_. Not vinegar! Ark!" Choking, Axel slapped his phone shut and ran out of the kitchen.

"I couldn't find the soy sauce! Isn't it the same thing anyway?"

"_No!_ Urgh, forget it. I'll get Hashiba."

---

It was just nine in the morning when Cloud's world turned upside down.

Well, not quite. But, at the moment, it damned well felt like it.

The blond had woken up early that morning to finish typing a paper for his English literature class. He'd just finished his thesis on the symbolic nature of the color white when the ear-splitting crash from the first floor _resonated_ throughout the entire house. A second passed, then two—the time in which Cloud jumped clean out of his seat and clutched a panicked hand towards his heart—and then his computer blinked off. Completely.

At which point, his desperate cry mixed with the dying boom.

"Damn it," he muttered, as he clicked at the power switch desperately. Slapping the hard drive angrily when the monitor resolutely stayed off, the blond shot back off his chair to run out his door. "Mo-om! What the _HELL_ happened?"

Sora, who had come running out of _his_ room upon hearing the noise, nearly slammed into Cloud just as Roxas opened his door. "What the hell's going on?" Roxas asked, staring at them with those gigantic blue eyes.

"Mom," the two brothers explained as they rushed down the stairs.

Images of their overblown mother or a demolished first floor erupted through Cloud's mind, as he followed his brother and younger cousin cautiously down the stairs to the family room. "Mom?" Sora called, quietly poking his head over to the kitchen. "Ohmigod, MOM!"

Even as Sora started darting into the kitchen in nothing but his pajamas and bare feet, Cloud was already pushing his brother back to get a better look at the situation.

Dear Lord.

"Mom, what are you _doing_?"

Setsuna Hashiba, neck deep in some goop or another, turned to beam happily at the three mortified teens. "Oh, it's nothing to worry about sweeties. Just a new experiment I wanted to test out for the restaurant."

"Mom," Poking his head out from behind Cloud, Sora grimaced at the stuff _sliding_ over his mother. "Is that...radioactive? Or something?"

Waving dismissively at the three boys, Setsuna turned back to peruse her notes, muttering to herself. "It's just the first stage. Of course, I'd hoped that it would work out better than this—after all, I wanted it ready for dinner."

"_Dinner_?!"

"Is that stuff _edible_?"

"Oh please." Turning around again, sniffing haughtily at her two baby boys, blue eyes gleamed challengingly at her sons as she planted her sticky hands over her apron. "Tell me at least one time that you haven't devoured my recipes."

Smirking triumphantly when the two immediately quieted, Setsuna smiled reassuringly at Roxas. "Don't you worry, darling. Just let your Aunt Setsuna handle this. Now go do your thing. Don't mind the kitchen when you hear the occasional explosion. Tohruu."

Immediately, out of nowhere, Ruu-chan came out to usher her three young masters away from the kitchen. "Don't worry, Master Roxas, madam is perfectly able to thrive in this...mess. Though, I do suggest that if you wish to remain in the house..."

"No, thank you," Jumping back from the kitchen as a second explosion sounded, Roxas winced.

"I'll head over to Kai's with you," Sora offered, patting Roxas.

"I'll come with you," Cloud sighed. "Just let me grab my spare laptop first."

As the three boys rushed up to their rooms for a change, Tohruu smirked. Turning behind her, she nodded to her mistress once, just in time for the quiet vibration of the phone. Upon receiving permission from Setsuna, the young girl reached over and quietly murmured a greeting into the phone.

"Ah, Master Axel...Master Sora? Oh, I don't think so. He's just leaving the home due to...complications, in the house. My lady is, ah, _experiementing_ in the kitchen...Where? Oh yes, he's heading over to Miss Kairi's home. Hm? I'm sure you can catch him."

---

Sora sighed. He'd been so ready to stay home that day and just...hide away. Mothers and their stupid tendencies to ruin the plans of their children should be banned.

"She did that on purpose," Cloud muttered as he frantically retyped his essay. Now that he knew what references he was going to use, at least this second draft would actually progress much faster than he'd thought. "Because you were sulking."

"Say's who?!" Cheeks flaming immediately, Sora bit onto his lips to prevent the pout that wants to form. "Sora Hashiba doesn't sulk."

"He does in the privacy of his own room."

Slanting a glare over at his brother, Sora huffed. "Yea? Better than someone who drowns himself in the _BLUES_ and _chick flicks_ when he's depressed." Roxas, who had stayed silent to this point, let out the tiniest snicker.

For a second, Cloud couldn't breathe. Turning over to Sora, who was grinning in that self-satisfied way of his whenever he'd successfully upped Cloud one, he slowly released his breath.

"When did you find my stash?"

"Oh, you mean the one that's hidden in that cubby behind your socks drawer? _Years_ ago, brother dearest."

"Sora!"

"Cloud-nii!"

Which was how Kairi found them, a moment later, arguing in the car with Roxas desperately trying to pull them apart, trying to tell them that they were already THERE.

"BABOONS!"

Both froze to stare at her, Cloud with a finger poking repeatedly at Sora's head, Sora with his finger digging into Cloud's cheeks. Coughing a little as her mouth twitched, Kairi stepped back from the car door. "You're here. At my place. I could hear you two upstairs in my _room_. Hey, Roxas."

"Heh, sorry Kai." Clambering out of the car, the brunette scratched his head sheepishly as he regarded his friend. "My mom's experimenting."

"I know. I heard from Axel."

That stopped them. "Axel?"

"The _pervert_?"

Looking over at Roxas in question, Kairi pushed open her door and waited as Sora waved goodbye to the driver. Shutting the door firmly behind her, she grinned. "Yea. He's inside. With Riku."

It took three paces for Sora to fully understand her words. "Riku? Riku's in there?" Looking at one gleeful face to the next bland one, Sora frowned. "You both know. You _both_ know, don't you! And my mom knew cause I told her this morning and..._was this some sort of plot or something_?"

"I didn't know anything." Smirking, glad to see his brother panicking, Cloud pushed past him to head into the Misano's family room.

Riku, who had heard Sora's voice, bounded out of the room to grin at the flustered look on his face. "Hey, Sora. Got any leads yet?"

Pouting, brows automatically drawing together to scowl at his best friend, Sora, following Cloud's example, pushed past his best friends and into the room. "Axel!"

Looking up from his game with the three year old Misano princess, Axel raised a brow. "Hey blondie. Sup younger Hashiba?"

"_You're_ my friend, right? _You_ tell me who Riku's crush is!"

**End Chapter**

**Author's Corner**

Sorry for the long delay. The chapter's not as polished as I'd hoped, but I'd been trying to get something out for the New Year present to all of you. Well, let's hope that it's satisfactory until the next update! Goodies have been posted for viewers/readers onto the site (link on profile) as an early new years and apology gift. Enjoy!

**Next Chapter  
Chapter 04: The Return**  
_Leon:_ Since murder's not an option, trickery is the next best thing.

**End**

Thanks for reading! Please remember to review!

**Edited by: Wake-Robin  
Last Checked: December 31, 2006**


	5. The Return

**SO FUNNY I CAN CRY**  
By: Yukisora

**CHAPTER 04  
The Return**

**---**

"I know. _You_ know I know. _I_ know you know I know. _Henry_ knows—and we know Henry knows it."  
–Geoffrey from **_"Lion in Winter"_**

---

**TRINITY LIMIT**  
_-Volume 1, Issue 1-_

_**-- "All the news that's fit to print..." --**_

_Trinity Academy  
Isemato Yutaka, Principal  
Tuesday, September 15, 2006_

**PAGE ONE**

A SPECIAL WELCOME FROM OUR NEW CHIEF  
By: Squall Leonhart

Old freshmen who are now proud juniors and juniors who are now ruling the school—the Trinity Limit, school, and staff all welcome you back from your, hopefully, peaceful vacation. To the incoming freshmen—we're sure you are probably lost, frantic as you search for your new classes, and worried about making new friends in this school. Don't worry yourself, pretty soon, you'll be those proud juniors and in another year, those ruling the school.

Trinity Limit, the Academy's own personal paper, prides itself on reporting quality, up-to-date news. In the past, our dear and graduated seniors ran the club, bringing it slowly, but surely, into the top of the school. I now present to you the staff of the Limit...

**PAGE TWO**

FRESHMEN ALERT! NEW CAPTAINS, PRESIDENTS, LEADERS  
By: Aerith Sakemi

A new storm seemed to have erupted throughout Trinity this year, as one outstanding personnel after another rose to take leadership positions. Freshmen are reminded that all students are to decide on a club or team by the end of the term. Club orientation, having had taken place last week on Thursday, September 10, 2006, was a massive success, featuring a skit from the Drama Club, free throw practice from the basketball club, a standing ovation from the school band, kendo, galleries, and more.

The leaders for this year include...

_Student Council:_  
Baralai Hazama, President  
Paine Aoki, Vice-President  
_Council Treasury:_  
Nooj Kubota, President  
Gippal Nojima, Vice-President  
_Newspaper Club:_  
Squall Leonhart, Editor-in-Chief  
Sora Hashiba, Exclusives-Editor  
_Drama Club:_  
Rikku Somna, President  
Selphie Yutaka, Vice-President  
_Kendo Club:_  
Cloud Hashiba, President  
Axel Akuseru, Vice-President  
_Tennis Team (Girls):_  
Rinoa Hartilly, President  
Tifa Iwasaki, Vice-President  
_Tennis Team (Boys):_  
Claudius Ikumori, President  
Logos Takai, Vice-President  
_Basketball Team:_  
Tidus Honda, President  
Riku Sugisaki, Vice-President  
_Handcraft Club:_  
Larxene Inakura, President  
Kairi Misano, Vice-President

And so on and so forth until, at the end...

_For exclusive interviews with presidents and captains, refer to page 7._

**BOTTOM OF PAGE TWO**

'TWILIGHT TOWN' – A MUSICAL!  
By: Sora Hashiba

After years of denial and months of tryst, the drama club president, Rikku Somna, announced publicly that the drama club would be presenting, for the first time ever, a musical. The play, "Twilight Town" was decided officially on the 12th of September with president Rikku and vice-president Selphie Yutaka in audience.

"I am so incredibly psyched about this," exclaimed president Rikku, when asked for a commentary. "We've been working towards this musical ever since the establishment of the drama club. It's wonderful that Sachiko-sensei agreed and we cannot wait to start!"

It has been confirmed that the school orchestra, led by senior Marluxia Kohno, will be participating in this musical. Additionally, the dance club as of Friday, September 11, has announced their participation in the choreography of the musical's dances.

All students of Trinity Academy are welcomed to audition for the parts for the musical. Auditions begin on the 30th of September. A list will be put on the Student Board of the second floor. All hopeful participants are to sign up by the end of Friday, September 25.

"It's going to rock this year, because we have so many talented people!" Selphie Yutaka shouted, arm in arm with her club mates. _Continued on page 3._

**NEXT PAGE**

DEAR SALLY  
_You ask the question, Sally has the answer..._

_Dear Sally,_  
I'm way interested in this friend of mine. Actually, maybe a friend of a friend of a friend. The problem is, I'm not sure if he's straight, gay, bi, or tri! How do you tell when a guy has a thing for girls? Or when they have a thing for other guys?Signed, Hopelessly Confused

Dear Hopeless,  
It's a very simple matter of asking the right questions. Or showing the things, if you catch my drift. Judging from his reaction, you can gauge whether he's interested in either, both, or none at all. Signed, Sally

_Dear Sally,_  
My friend has the _worst_ BO. Something like smelly gym socks and rotten eggs all rolled into one. I don't want to just come out and say it—it'll hurt her feelings. What should I do?  
Signed, Stink-Be-Free

Dear Stink,  
Body mist, perfume, cologne—present. Give it to her one of these days and just SPRAY her. It'll cover the stink and she'll thank you for a wonderful gift. Signed, Sally

_Dear Sally,_  
I want to ask my crush to the Limits Return! Except, I don't think he's interested, because he told me that he doesn't know how to dance! What should I do??????????  
Signed, Desperate-for-Date

Dear Desperate,  
Although Limits Return is a dance, remind him that it's not ONLY for dancing. It's to ensure that the freshmen feel welcome, that old friends reacquaint themselves with old friends, and that classmates greet classmates. Not to mention, the food and music will be great! Be there for the friends if not the dancing! Signed, Sally

_If you have any problems, email Sally at sallyhelptrinitylimit.aca and  
Have your questions answered!  
Just remember, any question you might have might be published!_

**BOTTOM OF THAT PAGE**

CREDITS AND TABLE OF CONTENTS

"**Limits Return: Dance of the Year!" **_page 6_  
"**New Trinity Badges Serves As Student ID?!" **_page 11_  
"**PANTHERS Jump for Joy Last Saturday as Honda Leads Us to Victory"** _page 14_  
"**Wedding CANCELLED? Uchiko-sensei and Hakaji-senisei's Blowout"**_page 15_

And so on until, at the very bottom...

_Squall Leonhart, Editor-in-Chief  
Sora Hashiba, Exclusives-Editor  
Aerith Sakemi, Special Events-Editor  
Misa Toriyama, Arts-Editor  
Koji Sugimoto, Sports-Editor_

_Reporters & Staff  
Chinaru Osora, Eiji Imaizumi, Kei Okusawa, Asako Kawamori, Akihito Shoji, Ichiro Nonaka..._

---

Slapping close the Limit, disregarding anything else that was written, Roxas blew out a breath, as he slammed his head over the paper.

It all started because Axel was trying to get out of Sora's question. Not that Roxas particularly blamed the redhead. I mean, Riku's glare was somewhat freaky. There was that and the fact that it's never a good idea to be stuck in the middle between Sora and Riku. Especially since Sora had a tendency of gnawing when things didn't go his way.

Though, you'd think the guy—even though he's a pervert—would have more _tack_ when changing the topic. Throwing a look at Sora's exclusive, Roxas growled quietly as he blew out a breath.

_"Anyway, blondie! What club are you joining?"_

Roxas, dumped with that sudden question, was left straggling as his cousins and his friends immediately started broadcasting their own clubs. Newspaper, kendo, basketball, drama, and handcraft—never mind that the handcraft club was supposed to be for _girls—_he got introduced to it all.

Then, someone had declared that there was _no way_ Roxas could be in the drama club—so why bother even broadcasting—and then someone else had jumped to his defense. Even though, to be technical, he didn't really care either way. Before he knew what was happening, he was officially auditioning for the play—no way out, his name… was on the list—and Sora and Tidus were going to train him, because they were on "his side."

The whole thing couldn't have taken longer than half an hour. Tops.

Scowling, the second slam resounded throughout the room.

"Hey there, blondie," was all the warning Roxas got, before a gigantic slap connected itself with his back. Looking up to glare at the redhead, who was currently grinning at him, mischief practically _oozing_ out of his eyes, Roxas thumped his head back down upon the next word.

"You're pretty cool, aren't you? _Everybody_'s talking about you and your awesome plan to audition for the school play!"

Great. Just great.

"Not just any part too," Axel smirked, brushing back his hair a little, as those cute blue eyes turned back onto him. "But the _male__lead_. And I thought you didn't want to do this."

"I didn't." Damn Sora and his ambitious tendencies! Damn Tidus for agreeing with Sora! Damn Selphie for falling into Sora's puppy-dog eyes!

"Hmmm...?" Drawing out the one syllable word as he cocked his head dubiously, Axel tapped his chin for a second. "Well, that's weird. I'm pretty sure Rinoa was talking about it. I think she said she heard from Claudius who claimed to have heard it directly from Rikku herself."

"Riku?"

"Yea. You know, Somna." At the look Roxas gave him, Axel added, "The president of the drama club."

"Oh. That Rikku." With that, the head came down again with a bang.

"So it's true?" Grinning a little at the glare Roxas threw him, Axel held up two hands, backing up a little. "Hey, don't go hating me! I was only trying to avoid Sora's begging and Riku's glaring—they're scary when they're pissed."

"Why do you _think_ that shiny head of yours isn't stuck somewhere at the bottom of the ocean?"

Wincing a little, shuddering despite himself, Axel shrugged, before propping his head back onto his awaiting fists. Grinning again, easily shrugging off the darts thrown his way, he nodded at the script beside the paper. "Anyway...think I should audition for the part of Minna?"

"Who?"

"Minna," Axel repeated. "You know, the girl you're supposed to be in love with?"

"Oh, right. Her." Scowling either at Axel or Minna, or both, Roxas rolled his eyes. "No."

"Aw, but don't you think I match her?"

"No. Minna's not a pervert."

Grinning, leaning forward to gently brush his lips over the blond spikes, Axel blew out a breath of warm air over the blond, delighting at the tiny shiver of response. "And how would you know, little Roxas?"

Roxas shuddered. Adding a displeased frown to his glare, the blond scooted his chair back, well away from Axel and his devious smirk. He didn't like the way Axel said his name, the way the "R" practically rolled off his tongue, the quiet hiss caressing the air at the end.

Shaking his head a little, Roxas' eyes narrowed. "You're a guy. And it's pretty much decided that Selphie's getting the part."

A single brow rose.

"She's been getting the leads for the past few productions." Relaxing, because that bothersome tingle at the pit of his stomach had dissipated, Roxas scowled. He'd bet his life that this was one of the reason Tidus jumped in when Sora told him about the proposition. "Tidus probably didn't like the idea of Demyx Karagi co-staring with her."

"And you're a much better choice?"

"I was wondering if I should be insulted that he didn't see me as a threat," Roxas mumbled.

"Maybe he thought you are gay like Sora, so it's not a problem," Axel shrugged.

Roxas sighed, rolling his eyes, but didn't respond. The entire class turned and stood, as Yamabuki-sensei entered the room. Settling back down onto his seat once the greeting was finished, Roxas scowled at the beaming exclusive.

"Psst, Roxas," he heard someone whisper. Sneaking a peek behind him, he raised a brow at the grinning Olette Nakajima. "I heard about the bet thing from Hayner, who heard from Tidus! Good luck! I'm rooting for you!"

Because his mind couldn't comprehend the fact that Olette Nakajima—someone he didn't talk to _at all_ outside of class and between whatever mutual friends they might have—knew about his most current issue, he could only blink silently at her benign smile, as his mouth fell involuntarily open. Their teacher, on the other side of the room, naturally caught the interaction with those famed rear-view eyes.

"Miss Nakajima! Do you mind sharing with the rest of the class your conversation with Mister Hashiba?"

"Just how interesting Japanese history is, sir," Olette said, giving Yamabuki a guileless smile. Yamabuki, in turn, rolled his eyes but ignored them all the same. Once their teacher went back to his lecture, the girl winked at Roxas, before returning to her text.

Even the girl on his _other_ side gave him a smile and a discreet thumbs up.

The startling bang resounded around the room as Roxas' head came back down.

---

Jolting from his position, Cloud rubbed his head a little, as the pain throbbed by his temple. On his left, Aerith giggled quietly to herself at the befuddled expression on her friend's face. Their professor, who had heard the loud thump from the front of the room, raised a brow at the honor student.

Blushing just a little, Cloud inclined his head to show his apology, before turning straight back to the book he was supposed to be reading. Rather than reading, however, he chooses instead to discreetly open the paper, which Aerith had thrown straight for his forehead.

**Stop sleeping. Everyone's talking about the Limit's Return. **

Rolling his eyes at the brunette beside him, he dumped the paper back onto her desk without replying. It wasn't as though Aerith was particularly looking for a reply anyway. After all, even before the publication of the first issue, everyone had already known the Return was coming up. The shrill bell that echoed throughout the quiet room automatically had every student jumping up, snatching their bags as they hurried out of the room.

Lingering as Cloud packed up his things away, Aerith felt her smile falter a little, as her friend brushed right past her. Following him into the café, she waited as he glanced at the menu to decide on his lunch. Aerith, seeing his preoccupation, decided to use the opportunity.

"Cloud."

"I'm not talking to you."

Aerith sighed. "Great, now I have both Hashiba brothers mad at me."

Silence greeted her.

"At least tell me what I did?"

"What was with all this biographical info? I could have gotten _Sora_ to write this—and he'll have lots more to say!" Cloud scowled, as he threw the article about him over to her waiting arms. "Do you have _any_ clue what happened to me two periods ago? I was almost _trampled_."

"Oh. You mean by your screaming fan-base?"

"They are _not_ my—"

"Oh Cloud." Laughing to herself, she followed the blond over to the counter. Green eyes winked up at him, as she regarded her friend's reaction. "You know, this would've happened eventually. At least you can now get it out all in one swoop. Just tell them you're not interested—nicely."

"I did," Cloud muttered. Taking a tray, he ordered his main dish, thanked the lady serving the food, and proceeded to the salad section. Passing over the carrots, he grimaced at the tomatoes, waved away an offer of cauliflower, and hastily headed for dessert. "They want to know _why_ when I say no."

Aerith, who held a tray full of veggies, dumped half her contents onto Cloud's, disregarding his protests completely. "Well, you _should_ have a reason when you're rejecting someone."

"I told them why. I'm not interested."

"And that's why they become more interested," Aerith said. Setting her tray on a table, she pulled out her chair and sat across from Cloud. "They get this...unattainable vibe from you, so they start worshipping you instead."

"Wouldn't it make more sense to leave me alone, if I'm unattainable?"

"Yes, but you're forgetting that the girls in our school tend to think they're elites. They obtain the unattainable."

Cloud scowled. Dumping the carrots and peas off his chicken, he fiddled with his fork for a moment before sighing. "Sora's making me go to the dance."

"Of course," Aerith frowned. "Are you thinking of _not_ going?"

The Limits Return, a tradition started by the newspaper club back when Cloud was still a freshman, was a dance that was meant to establish quick relations between the students. Backed by both the student council and the treasury, it was the best dance in the year and definitely the most extravagant.

"I don't dance."

"Mm. There's always the food."

"I can ask our cook to make something for me if I'm hungry."

Aerith frowned. "You're being spoiled."

"I already told Sora I was going."

"Are you really?"

Picking up his drink, swirling the Cola in his can a few times, he raised it to his lips and took a couple of swallows. "I guess."

Aerith watched him silently, deep green eyes contemplative as the blond before her stirred his peas listlessly. "Cloud, is something wrong?"

"No."

The brunette sighed a little. What is it with men and their stupid code of honor that refused help from anyone? "Okay, then do you mind telling me why you're actually _eating_ those peas, instead of telling me to go to Hell for making you eat them?"

Cloud dropped his fork. "Go to Hell, Aerith, for making me eat them."

The frown that she sent him was pure disapproval and one that had him sighing.

Letting the fork drop onto his half-finished food, the blond turned his deep blue eyes to his friend. Aerith was one of his closest friends and someone that he trusts implicitly—almost as much as he trusts Sora. But like Sora, Aerith had this uncanny ability of seeing right into his heart without permission and make him spill his guts.

"Do you know Squall Leonhart?"

Aerith blinked. "Yes—he's the editor-in-chief for the Trinity Limit."

_Figures._Rolling his eyes, Cloud dumped more peas into his mouth. "Do you mind telling him that I have his astrophysics book? Or do you think you can return it _for_ me? I have it in my locker."

"Oh, sure." Frowning a little, Aerith set down her fork. "Give it to me whenever you can. Now tell me what's _really_ bothering you."

Pursing his lips a little, scowling at that soft smile and those sympathetic eyes—Cloud sighed.

---

Leon's soft leather stretched, as he stalked through the halls. Brown locks waved behind him, tickling the skin at the nape of his neck. A glare was all it took to part the sea of students before him, allowing the intimidating senior to pass through the halls. He didn't even need to push.

It was a busy afternoon and Leon didn't have time to lose.

Sliding the door open, Leon raised a brow at the group of juniors milling around the room. "You," he called, catching the eye of the kid, who first noticed him. "Where's Sora?"

"Sora?" The guy blinked. "He was just sent to Mako-sensei's office."

Leon frowned. "What for?"

Looking at his friend for confirmation, he shrugged. "Not sure."

Scowling to himself, he stalked out of the room without another word. Trust Sora to be running off with something on his one free period of the day.

He'd been trying to get a hold of the kid alone ever since that bathroom incident at the first day of school. Now, they were at their third week and the brunette was so damn busy running to basketball games, shopping with friends, and figuring out the secret to every student in the registry that Leon hadn't gotten a single moment alone with him. Never mind the fact that some of these responsibilities were pushed onto him by Leon himself.

"Leon!" Misa Toriyama ran up to her club's chief, her long auburn hair swaying behind her in her characteristic ponytail. Dashing towards him in full speed, she would have dropped the stack of papers she was holding, had the brunette not caught her, before she fell.

"Thanks!" she grinned. Holding out the papers to him, she huffed a little, as she caught her breath. "Theses are from the others too. And Aerith wanted me to tell you that she needs the notes on the trip to the mountains—Asako said she gave them to you?"

Leon frowned, mentally reviewing the times he'd been with the girl. "No."

Brows furrowed together, as Misa patted her cheek slightly. "Really? Well, can you tell Aerith? Or ask Asako? I still have to track down Sora and get his stuff so that I could set the layout."

"Good luck with that." Leon muttered. "Go, I'll tell Aerith."

"Thank you! You're a lifesaver!"

Glaring down at the stack of work as he headed back to the club room, he felt the quiet rumble at the back of his throat threatening to spill out. Now that the first issue was out, it'd only get busier and busier. Everyone at the Limit was already working towards the next issue. Frowning when he noticed the new questions sent to the Dear Sally column within the stack of papers, he briefly closed his eyes.

There was still task number two.

He'd checked with the office a couple of times already. No one had come to return an astrophysics text. Dumping the paper into his locker, wracking his mind, he went through what happened that day at the library again. He's sure the guy was blond. But even though it helped to decrease a lot of guys, it didn't change the little detail that there were probably dozens of blond guys in just his year.

Sweeping his eyes over the empty room, he walked over to his desk. Booting up the computer, he settled onto his chair, as he waited for the welcome screen to pass. Sighing once, he clicked onto the schedule icon on the desktop and waited some more.

Clicking onto Asako Kawamori's schedule, he let his eyes roam over the boxes until they settled onto Tuesday, period six. Hissing a little to himself, somewhat pissed that her class was all the way on the fourth floor, Leon stalked out of the classroom to climb back up. Rounding the corner, he'd just released that one exasperated sigh, when he rammed into something inexplicably soft but hard.

"_Arrgh,_" he heard the other guy cry out as he flew backwards. Reaching out, grabbing his forearms firmly, Leon frowned as he looked down towards the blond spikes.

"You okay?" he asked, releasing the other teen and stepping back. Reaching down, he started picking up his papers, missing the look of recognition on the other's face.

"Uh, yea."

Brows furrowed against the somewhat "caught" tone, Leon looked up and frowned at the other teen. Eyes the same shade as Sora's gleamed back down onto him, evoking the same feelings that only the Hashiba blue eyes could, awe. However, while Sora's reminded Leon of a summer's sky, Cloud's invariably brought on the image of the heart of the ocean. "You're Hashiba."

Cloud blinked. The flat, almost dry, tone that came out of Leon was nothing out of the ordinary. Yet, something in the way that those eyes remained resolutely flat pricked a part of the pride that Cloud thought he had gotten under control of years ago. "Yea."

Standing, Leon flapped his papers a little. "Stop staring," was all he said before he turned and stalked down the hallway again. Looking down at his paper once more, Leon rounded the next corner, disappearing from Cloud's view.

Shaking his head a little, he briefly wondered if he should write an article about the lack of campus space. In a school as rich as Trinity Academy, people should _not_ be bumping into each other left and right. Releasing the breath that he hadn't known he'd held, Leon rapped quietly against the door before sliding it open.

"Kayahiri-sensei," Leon bowed once. Scanning the room, catching Asako's eyes, he nodded in her direction. "I need to speak to Kawamori." Reminded of his manners, he bowed once more and added, "if possible." Seeing the teacher's nod, he beckoned to her once and slipped out of the room.

"Chief?" Asako's brows furrowed, as she stepped out into the hall. "Is something wrong?"

"Where're the notes on the senior trip?"

Asako blinked, dark hair swinging as she shook her head. "Don't you have it?"

"No."

"But I gave it to you during astrophysics a while back," she frowned. "Remember? You told me that you'd see Aerith after, so I asked if you could pass the notes to her."

Leon blinked. Cursing a little, because he _did_ remember that little scene, he nodded. "Right. Never mind, then." Turning, he was about to leave, when Asako stopped him.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes, don't worry about it."

"Leon!" Turning, Leon scowled when he recognized Reno, Axel's older brother, running over to him. Pouting a little, the redhead swung an arm over his shoulders, as he held out a slip of paper. "What's this about?"

Scanning the page, Leon shrugged. "That's Aerith's article. Leave me alone."

"Noooo way." Pulling Leon back, Reno scowled as he jabbed at the paper. "Why did _Axel_ get interviewed and I didn't?"

"Because Axel has connections and you don't."

"Fucker! I'm talking to _you_ aren't I?"

"Aerith."

"And you couldn't introduce me? Like kendo's more important than judo anyway," he muttered. "I even tried getting her attention that week too."

"You mean after she handed in the article?" Leon sneered, as he stalked over to dump his papers into his locker.

"Not likely! I knew about it, because she was bugging the older Hashiba for an interview at the library—she couldn't have written it _that _fast."

Leon stopped. "The library?"

"Yea." Shaking his head, he waved his arm around as he continued to rant. "That girl completely ignored me and just walked through me, as though I'm not the vice-cap of judo club or anything—"

"School library?"

"Yea. There are only so many libraries around here."

"With Hashiba?"

"_Thank you_. Man, you guys made a mistake. It should've been judo, not kendo. Seriously—oy! Leon, what's up man?"

---

Sora sighed, resting his head onto his arms as he closed his eyes.

So far, every single report from his sources had been—to say the least—useless. All he'd gotten, really, were the names of people who'd either had a fling with Riku a few years back, had a tremendous crush on Riku, _have_ a tremendous crush on Riku, someone Riku had flirted with at some time or another—and just about every single female and a good number of males in all the grades of Trinity Academy.

Useless.

Dumping the packs back into his bag just as Mako-sensei came into the room, Sora straightened up and smiled at her. Orrather, half-smiled at her.

"Hm? What happened to the smiling sweetheart of our academy?" Mako raised a brow, as she settled onto the seat behind her desk. Shuffling her papers, she surveyed the student and smirked when she noticed the papers sticking out of his bag. "Well, then, are the rumors true?"

"What rumors?"

"That our Sugisaki Prince got himself a pretty nice one—and so the King Detective Hashiba's set out to find out who it is?"

Laughing a little, amused at the nicknames from the Trinity Limit advisor, Sora settled down and cocked his head. "What do you mean, King Detective Hashiba—when the reigning queen's still here?"

Smiling a little, as wicked humor flashed onto her eyes, Mako shrugged and pulled out a sheet of paper. "All of that aside," Pushing the papers towards Sora, she nodded at them. "Leon asked me to give this to you."

The "Wait a second!" that came a few seconds later was both expected and readied in anticipation.

"Leon thought that you'd be the most suitable." Mako smiled, as she pushed Sora back to his seat. "He said that you have the best relations with both the Treasury and the Student Council."

"If you mean, Baralai—okay, fine. I know him. But it's hardly good relations—he _hates_ me. And Nooj is scary."

"First name basis—good to hear."

Groaning, because Mako-sensei already seemed to be completely set on this, Sora glared down at the new piece of responsibility. "Sensei, you heard the rumors. I don't have time for this too because—"

"Sora." Looking into those sapphire eyes, Mako had to smile at the genuine misery in them. "Aren't you an editor of the Limit?"

"Well, yes. But I'm sure Aerith or Misa would _love_ to plan out the Return. And anyway, I'm pretty sure preparations have already started so—"

"True. Nooj and Baralai did, in fact, start preparations. After all, the Treasury's in charge of getting the supplies and the Student Council's in charge of set up. But _we_, darling Sora, are in charge of all the planning and advertisements."

"Right. So—"

"And how, dear, can the Treasury buy their supplies, or the Student Council begin setting up, if we don't have any idea of what we want?"

"Right. I agree completely. But, thing is—"

"Since all members are _obligated_ to help out in this event, why not take charge, Sora?"

Flustered and somewhat floored both by Leon's ability to keep secrets from Sora, as well as by Mako-sensei and her indisputable logic, Sora blew out a breath with another glance at the papers. He briefly wondered what _other_ news had gotten past him over the years.

"But, sensei."

"Accept it with a smile, Sora," Mako grinned, as she patted the boy's shoulders. "Then, we can move on, you can start planning at the next meeting. Don't worry, I'm sure Leon and the rest would help."

Those dark eyes were smiling at him with all the amusement in the world. _And why not?_ Sora sighed a bit to himself. _Mako-sensei knows she's got me. _She_ knows I know she's got me. _Blowing out a breath, a hint of admiration peeked through, despite the headache, which she'd just delivered to him in a silver bow, and left Sora smiling. "Ah well. Why not?"

They'd chatted for a little while longer, before Sora made his excuses and left. It was one thing looking for Riku's nameless crush in the comforts of all his free time. It was a completely different matter to look for Riku's crush in what little time he'd have left after the Limit, school, and the preparations for the Return. Not to mention that, for the first time since freshman year, Sora's sources were completely useless.

Blinking at the glint of silver that caught his eyes, brown locks ruffled as he stuck his head out the window to peek over in curiosity. He was just about to call out to Riku—after all, not that many people walked around school with a head of silver, so it had to be Riku—when those sharp baby blue eyes caught sight of the _other_ figure beside him.

Stopping in his tracks, recognizing the sight of Pence, who was in the middle of a heated discussion with Riku, Sora raised a brow, as he snuck closer to the duo. Jumping out the window to hide, a breath whooshed out of him as his knee caught the rough cement.

The two were seated in a far corner of the backyard, hidden by the brilliant rosebushes. Naturally, it was the perfect place to hide from teachers. The brilliance of the roses served as a perfect cover, distracting the viewers' attention from whatever they may be hiding.

Unfortunately, however, it'd been Sora's hiding spot for years now.

_Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum._

Drumming hammered against his ears, as he crept closer, careful to keep the red flowers between himself and the two unsuspecting teens. Releasing a quiet breath, as their voices came into hearing distance, Sora closed his eyes and settled into the best possible position.

"...It's been a while since you've asked for stuff anyway," Pence was saying, shrugging as he grinned up at the platinum haired teen. A sweet smile lit up his face, as eyes as dark as coals blinked sheepishly. "I'm glad I could help. Especially since you helped me out of that jam last time."

Riku, who had tucked something into his back pocket, smiled back in turn, something he rarely did for strangers. This led Sora to the belief that Pence was someone that, at the very least, deserved Riku's real smile. Shifting his foot and leaning closer to hear the conversation better, he frowned, as the green-eyed teen laughed at something Pence had murmured.

He adored Pence. Honestly. The guy was incredibly helpful with his photography skills—something that was handy for the Trinity Limit at times. But now, watching the way Riku's eyes lit up, Sora couldn't help but feel a wave of resentment for the dark-haired teen.

After all, it's been a while since he'd seen Riku's eyes light up in quite that way.

Feeling a little lonely, as he sat back onto his hunches, Sora frowned when Riku lowered his voice further in answer to Pence's question. Hearing snippets of Riku's response, twin brows drew together, as eyes narrowed in speculation.

Pence was _hardly_ Riku's type, Sora knew that for sure. Riku liked them small, cute, and witty. While he had to agree that Pence was short, the teen was hardly small. Though it's true that he had a really cute smile and a very sweet personality—after all, he _was_ a friend of Sora's, sort of—but under Riku's normal standards, Pence just didn't add up. He was too ordinary. Too normal. Too "guy next door."

No, Pence wasn't the one. There's no way that Pence is the all-amazing guy that has got Riku wrapped around his fingers.

Hunching deeper into himself, he watched Pence wave goodbye to Riku and briefly puffed out his cheeks in thought, as the two headed in different directions. Waiting until Riku had long since passed him, a single, quiet, breath escaped between his teeth when Sora sat down properly onto the ground.

It was true that Riku was pretty popular around school. Just _look_ at him! Add the fact that he's athletic, has a decent brain, and is just about the biggest flirt around, anyone is bound to be crazy not to fall for him.

_Like I did_. Muttering a bit himself, almost amused at his younger self, Sora stood to brush off the leaves and the dirt. _Then again, it _was_ years ago. And I _was_ going through that pre-teen and horny stage._

With the usual nonchalance which came whenever this subject surfaced, a smile lit onto his face, as he added, _Plus, Riku was hot._ Just because Sora is his childhood best friend didn't change that fact. If anything, it just gave him more chances to recognize the beauty that radiates from the guy. If Sora _hadn't _had a little crush on him at some point or another, being interested in men and all, Sora would have to consider himself insane.

But _Riku_ though—as far as Sora knew, Riku had never fallen in love before. Or even had a serious crush. In all the years Sora had known him, the other boy had always gone for those outstandingly beautiful or cute girls, who threw themselves at him. Naturally, they have to interest him first, but as far as he knew, he'd never been one to initiate the liking of another.

And now Tidus, Kairi, Axel, and even _Cloud-nii_ were telling him that Riku has had a crush on someone since God knows when. Why Sora was the only one out of the loop was beyond him.

Blinking a little, as a thought suddenly popped into his head, Sora settled back onto the ground to think. Riku trusts Sora. It's a fact of life. They'd trust each other with their _lives_—well, Sora would trust his life with Riku. But, in the past. Sora was _always_ the first to know whenever Riku had some new thought or plan, or whatever. Kairi would always follow.

Pulling out the sheets of paper, scanning the names once again, a brow rose, as he gnawed at his lips quietly. Sora was the _last_ to know about this particular secret. That, too, was fact. _That_ means that this person is, probably, someone that's directly connected to _Sora_ himself.

_It's not Cloud-nii_, Sora mused, as he tapped idly at his brother's name. After all, Cloud knows who the person is. Or, at least, he knew what's going on. It just wouldn't make sense that Riku's all-secret crush would be Cloud. It couldn't be his mom, because Riku had told him that it's a guy and he's pretty damn sure his mom's female. DiZ would kick him, if he ever thought Riku thought of him as anything but a secondary father. Or a brother. Or a friend. Or anything that's platonic.

Roxas?

The sound of the bell had him standing up again, dusting his pants. _Roxas_? Riku had met Rox for only a month—less, if he went by days. If Riku had stopped dating around the time he'd started crushing on this person, then it wouldn't make sense if it is Roxas.

Besides, Roxas was straight.

Mentally going through everyone else that had a relatively close relation to himself, Sora scowled, as he named off particular reasons why _each_ person wouldn't—or, at least, _shouldn't_—work.

_Me?_

That simple, one-worded thought had him stopping before his classroom. Deep blue eyes blinked rapidly, unseeing, as something akin to panic raced through him. Swallowing once, then twice, Sora backed away from the door, as he hurriedly grabbed his sources' reports and went through the list again.

There he was, without a doubt.

Typed neatly in a size twelve font, his name, Sora Hashiba, shot back up at him in black and white. _So this was how other people see the two of us_. Dumping the stacks of paper back into his bag, he felt his eyes widen as he slid into the room.

There was still time before class, so a couple of students here and there milled around, as they waited for the arrival of their math teacher. A second shot of panic raced through him, as he recognized Riku's frame, surrounded by their mutual friends. Almost mechanically, he walked over to his seat, beside the platinum haired teen.

The grin that Riku shot him was questioning, when he saw the dazed look in those normally alert blue eyes.

"You okay, Sora?" He frowned, as he leaned forward. A hand reached out towards his forehead, worry creasing onto his own as the two strokes of silver drew together.

Brushing the hands away, before they connected to his skin, Sora swallowed once more as he nodded and replied, "Yea."

What had they done to make his sources consider him as a candidate for Riku's secret crush? Sneaking a look over at his best friend, Sora blushed a little, as the sea-green eyes caught his own.

_No way_. It couldn't be him. After all, they were best friends. Riku didn't like Sora—he'd notice it at some point or another. _Right. I may miss some things, but I'm still pretty observant._

Coughing a little, dropping his bag onto his lap so that he could hug it, Sora released the breath and a little of the panic, as he smiled properly at their friends. "I'm fine," he repeated, waving a hand a little, as he shook his head.

One of Riku's brows rose again, but seeing that Sora only shook his head in denial, he relented and returned to Kairi's question from before Sora's entrance. "Yea, I'm going to the Return."

Blinking, Kairi glanced back to Sora. Studying her friend for a second longer, she let a smile flit onto her face at the expected answer. "With who?"

"Who do you think, Kairi?"

Bantering, the _normal_ banter between his two best friends, bounced around Sora's ears, the contents completely undigested as his mind contented itself over its newfound solution. No, it couldn't be him. Just because Sora hadn't found a viable suspect, even after days of search, just because everyone besides Sora himself knew Riku's secret, didn't necessarily mean that Sora must be the one that Riku's has a crush on.

After all, when he finally figures out who this person is, Sora's pretty sure that he'd whack himself over the head for not realizing it earlier. Smiling a little at the way Riku laughed with Kairi and Roxas, his hair thrown back as those emerald eyes glittered with humor, Sora shook his own head.

No point in jumping into conclusion and freaking himself out.

_Your crush on him ended years ago, stupid_, he reminded himself, as he jolted a little at the smile that Riku threw him. Letting ridiculous speculations with no real foundation ruin his current relationship with Riku would just be stupid.

Even so, he quietly jotted a star down onto his hand to remind himself to ask his sources for the basis of their speculations later.

---

For the past ten minutes, Cloud had been aware that Leonhart had been staring. He was also pretty sure that the guy knew that Cloud knew too. Despite knowing that, the fact that the staring hadn't ceased, indicating to Cloud that Leon damn well wanted Cloud to know that he was staring. Which was all fine and dandy. After all, the blond was pretty used to staring, seeing as that his brother _insisted_ on being popular and, as the result of association, he became pretty well-known, as well.

But, the fact remained that _Squall Leonhart_, the man whose astrophysics text sat on his locker, was staring at him. At this point, it'd be just _weird_ that Cloud come out of nowhere and hand his back book to him. Especially since he'd had so many chances before.

That and there was the little fact that he wasn't so much _staring_ as _glaring_.

Which is a _pretty _clear indication that Leon knew where his missing book was.

Coughing a little into his hand, as _he_ stared at the music notes before him, Cloud briefly wondered if he should just put the damn book in the lost and found.

"Mister Hashiba, that's a C sharp. We want a B flat."

Blue eyes blinked away from the swimming notes, as he glanced over at their music teacher blankly. Comprehension suddenly alighted when he heard the quiet resonance of the strings in the air. And the unmistakable sound of a C sharp.

"Uh. Right." Quickly maneuvering his fingers on the strings, Cloud sheepishly slid the bow past the strings again, letting out the quiet B flat. Frowning a little, the teacher went back to conducting the class and Cloud waited, as the violas danced through the segment. Counting off the beats quietly in his head, his left foot tapped on the ground, as he awaited the part of the violins.

The guy still hadn't known during lunch time when he'd practically rammed him halfway across the hall. So, whatever it was that was causing the glaring contest right now _had_ to have happened at least until after lunch.

Which was such a shame, because Aerith would've just handed the book back to him during club today. Rolling his eyes a little as he picked up his bow again, fingers danced through the notes, as the bow flew through the four strings.

"Okay, good enough." Waving a hand dismissively at the class at large, the teacher turned to survey her sheets to make modifications here and there. "Pack your things."

Locks clicked all around the room, as case after case opened and closed. Hastily packing his things away, Cloud quickly placed bow and violin back into the case, before grabbing his sheets and making for a mad dash towards the front door.

"Hashiba!"

Freezing for a second, debating whether he should pretend that he hadn't heard anything or not, Cloud closed his eyes, before turning to stare at Leon. Keeping his eyes passively cool, he let his brows rise in a stare that he'd seen Riku pull off on his brother countless times.

"Yea?"

The saunter that he had, as he crossed over to the blond, seemed as though he had all the time in the world. Regarding the blond with those uncaring cobalt eyes, Leon jerked his head towards the door. "We have English together. Let's go."

It was the most Leonhart had spoken to Cloud in all the four years they've known each other. Granted, it wasn't as though Cloud made a rule of being anti-social and Leon had his own group of friends. Essentially, the two ran in different clichés with the exception of Sora, who is their only common link. There was that and the fact that both of them weren't much of conversationalists.

Falling in step beside the brunette, Cloud tightened his hold on the violin case, as they walked through the halls. He knew for a fact that rumors were already spreading from the speculative way that people glanced at the two of them.

Leon hadn't officially come out about his sexuality, Cloud knew. Neither had Cloud. But, he also knew, from Sora, that he wasn't exactly hiding the fact that he's into boys either. Then again, neither was Cloud.

The few people, who shot them looks, have all heard the rumors. Now, a new one's about to start.

Leon didn't mind the talks so much. Taking in the view of the blond beside him, he figured that if he was to be matched up with anyone and everyone in school, being matched up with the guy beside him wasn't that big of a hardship. Not that he'd ever tell anyone this, he added silently.

As far as Leon's concerned, Cloud's the prime target for having his book. The hair, that body shape, and Reno's story all add up. The only thing he needed now to ensure that it really was Cloud, who had taken Leon's textbook, was the book itself.

Which he wouldn't get until he got to know Hashiba better.

Smirking a little when he noticed that Cloud's blue eyes were flitting back to him every now and then, Leon slid the door open to their classroom. Following Cloud to his seat, he let the blond settle himself properly, before smirking. Noting the number of people around them, he leaned over to him. And whispered.

"Hashiba, wanna come with me to the Return?"

**End Chapter**

**Author's Corner**

_Chapter 04: The Return is dedicated to _**Wake-Robin**_ for her birthday. Thanks for always being there in all those times with decapitated old ladies, world domination, stutters, and our unique logic and math equations. Happy eighteen, darl, since my painting's late in coming again. _

_-o-o-_

"All the news that's fit to print" is New York Times' motto and not made up by myself. It's the motto that NY Times uses for _their_ paper and I just adapted it for my own Trinity Limit. x)

Sorry for my lack of response to the reviews so far. I'm trying to be better / less lazy. But know that I appreciate _every_ single review, long or short, with criticism or just happy squeals. They make my day and I **THANK YOU ALL**.

A couple of people emailed me asking how long this fic's going to be. To be honest, I'm still deciding. I'm trying to keep it under 20 (most preferably, 15). But, since the development of the story's not complete, I'll have to see how it pans out. There's that and the length of the chapters will have to be determined first. So my answer right now is a "most likely 15, give or take a couple of chapters." (The original idea was 10 chapters total, but that's not working out..xD)

**Next Chapter:  
Chapter 05:**  
_Roxas:_ PMS, a powerful spell that women are put under about once every month. It's the thing that gives them the strength of an ox, the stability of a Window's OS, and the scream of a banshee. Basically, a man's worst nightmare. So why the _Hell_ is SORA the one doing all the screaming?

**End**

Thanks a bunch for reading! Take a little time to review please!! x)  
Greets from,  
Yukisora

**Edited by: Wake-Robin  
Last Checked: January 18, 2007**


	6. Vulta, Part One

**SO FUNNY I CAN CRY**  
By: Yukisora

**CHAPTER 05  
Vulta, Part One  
**

**---**

**vol · ta **(vōl'tə, -tä) – _noun_. The turning point of the sonnet, generally the ninth line that signifies the change from a proposition to resolution.

---

Cloud blinked.

"Uh."

All around him, everyone was buzzing. By the end of class, Cloud _knew_ that the entire school would know that Leonhart, Squall Leonhart, the man, who walks around school with an iced stick up his ass, had just asked him out.

Cloud. Normal, average, everyday Cloud.

The one who was still hiding the guy's astrophysics text in the back of his locker.

"Uh."

Leon smirked. The stupefied look on Cloud's face was slowly starting to turn into a strange shade of puce. Briefly wondering if it was really literally possible for a human to turn _red_, Leon leaned forward again. It wasn't everyday that the calm and collected Cloud is left speechless. Even rarer is it for someone to make the said blond blush. Leon had managed both.

"No thanks."

Leon froze. The buzz around them for a while intensified. The sound of chairs scraping was everywhere, as the few gifted with a relatively high IQ began running from the room. Others, their curiosity getting the best of them, eased a little closer, hoping to hear more.

After all, it's not everyday that Squall Leonhart goes around asking people out in public. And to imagine, for the first time in history, the stoic third year being rejected, publicly... Well, let's just say, it's too damn bad that the guy was the editor-in-chief to the Trinity Limit, because this was _definitely_ one for the gossip column.

"_No?_" Leon repeated, backtracking from the blond instantly. Brows lowered as eyes narrowed slightly. "What do you mean 'no'?"

Because Cloud could see that there was _genuine_ confusion in the brunette's eyes, the blond smirked. Really, the world must be ending. "I mean, thank you for the invitation, Leonhart. But I can't accept. I'm going with Aerith." _Probably_.

This time, a frown made it to Leon's face. "Aerith? Aerith Sakemi?" At Cloud's nod, the brunette frowned further. "She's going with Baralai."

_She is?_ Shocked at this development, Cloud felt his eyes widen a little as he simply stared. More than the fact that Aerith had decided to keep this bit of information from Cloud—after all, they're best friends!—he was more than just a little surprised that he'd found out this bit of news, from all people, Leonhart.

Until he remembered that Aerith was a part of the Trinity Limit.

"Oh."

Leon shrugged. "Yea." Eyeing the blond in a new light now, Leon raised his brows a little at the slight frown that marred that perfect face. "Well?"

Looking up again, noting the expectant look in Leon's eyes, Cloud shrugged. "Sure. Whatever."

As the buzzing started around in the room again, Leon smirked.

---

"I'm starting to worry."

"Uh-huh."

In the middle of a grumble, Riku suddenly stopped, realizing for the first time in the last couple of minutes that his friend's response didn't really make sense. Looking up at Axel, Riku scowled when he saw the goofiest smile on Axel's face and his eyes averted from Riku.

"And you look like a lovesick freak."

"Mm-hm."

"The sky's turning purple and I ate a diseased cow. I'm dying."

"I get you completely."

Muttering to himself, nearly pouting, Riku threw a hand up when Axel laughed at the scowl that lit onto Roxas' face. Waving his hand in front of the redhead's face, Riku scowled. "Axel!"

Distracted, green eyes tore away from the sight of an annoyed Roxas arguing with Sora while Kairi calmly smoothed over the major disasters. "What? _Geez_, Riku!" He yelped as Riku promptly reached over to smack his friend's head. "The fuck was that for?"

"I'm having a crisis here and you're too busy checking out my crush's cousin to fucking listen! You tell me why the fuck I hit you."

"Jesus Christ." Turning firmly away from the Hashiba pair, Axel turned his attention towards his drama queen of a friend. Fuck if he knew why the Hell Riku never joined the drama club. As far as he knew, everyone he hung out with friggin' deserves to be in that club. Even when he wanted to stay _away_ from all the drama in the world, his friends dragged him back into it!

"Okay, Sugisaki heir apparent," the redhead drawled, adopting a motherly tone. Swinging an arm lovingly over the other teen, he steered them over to the fountain, as they waited for Sora to finish his conversation with Roxas. "Tell me your troubles."

"Sora! Why the Hell did Mako and Leon make _Sora_ plan the freakin' Limit's Return?"

_And so_ Axel was back to square one. Staring at Riku, almost worried, Axel frowned when he noticed the real anger in those aquamarine eyes. "Okay. Want to tell me why you don't want little Sora planning the Return?"

"Why am I talking to you?" Riku muttered, as he broke away from the redhead. "I need Kairi."

The leaves danced down onto the pavement, as Sora started waving happily to both Riku and Axel. Beside him with an arm securely gripped by an adamant brunette, Roxas scowled. The pout, which he was so obviously hiding, had Axel's lips twitching slightly and Riku sighing in defeat.

Walking over to their waiting friends, Riku waved his arms a little as he continued, "Leon's an effing _lazy asshole_, for pushing everything onto Sora. It's not like he doesn't know that I've started something with Sora already."

"Ahh." And so everything cleared. Laughing now, feeling almost amazed that he hadn't spotted this earlier, Axel reached over to sling that arm back around Riku's shoulders. "You're worried that little Sora won't spend time on _you,_ because he's busy with the widdle Twinity Wimit?"

"Fuck off, Akuseru."

"Man, don't worry about it." Axel smirked. "Why do you _think_ he made you join the committee?"

"He needs a couple of slaves and know that there's no way I can resist his eyes."

Chuckling, Axel nodded. "There's that." Eyes turned back to the blond. "But I heard he's pretty good at multi-tasking."

"Riku!" Hastily grabbing Roxas, before his cousin could make an escape, Sora grinned, waving them over. "Hurry, grab his other arm before he runs away!"

Axel smirked. Letting go of his friend, who was staring at Sora with that look again, the redhead reached forward to cuff the blondie around the neck. Sora grinned.

"Thanks, Axel!" He cheered, even as Roxas started thumping their friend.

Riku sighed. Smiling now, he reached forward to ruffle Sora's hair. Laughing, delighting in Sora's angry squawk, the platinum-haired teen ran off, leaving the angry Sora chasing after him. Eyes softening when he saw the way those blue sapphires gleamed and that adorable flush on his face, the first bubble of laughter since he'd found out that Sora was head of the planning committee escaped.

"Riku Sugisaki, get your ugly butt back here!"

"But you know you want it!"

Because his back was turned from Sora, because Kairi, Axel and Roxas couldn't see anything but their backs as they raced towards the closest supermarket, no one noticed the distinct crimson flush that overcame the tiny brunette as he sputtered in something that might or might not be rage.

---

Roxas distinctly remembered that he used to be the stronger of the two when they'd been younger.

Glaring down at the pile of detergent that he currently held in his hands, he briefly wondered how he'd been roped into helping Sora plan the Return. After all, Roxas was a _guest_ at the house. He was also a member of the _family_. Never mind that the two were an oxymoron.

"_Riku_!" He heard his dear and beloved—and the world's most manipulative, evil, evil person—cousin screech loudly, as he ran past Roxas' aisle to chase after his best friend. "What the _Hell_ are you doing?"

Obviously, shopping at the local supermarket wasn't something Roxas, Sora, _or_ Riku normally do.

Even as the shop clerk bolted after the two, who were currently running around the store, screaming something along the lines of "_Please_, Mr. Customers! You have to stop running in here!" Roxas stepped away from his own personal cart, stuck out a foot, and waited for the inevitable.

Riku, still holding onto a pile of commonly used streamers, jumped away from the foot, smirking a little at the blond. Green eyes widened slightly as they landed onto Sora who, preoccupied with the streamers of the _exact_ shade he'd been searching for since _forever_ in Riku's hands, where they were currently dangling, tripped, "eep!"ed, and fell.

"Holy crap! Sora!"

Sighing, satisfied that a major catastrophe had been averted, Roxas bent over to pick up the roll. Sora, sniffling at the floor and glaring daggers at his cousin, pouted pitifully over at Riku, as he rubbed at his throbbing knee.

"Don't look at me like that," Roxas shrugged, as he dumped the ruthlessly mauled pack of streamers into the cart full of random supplies. Why they would _ever_ need a pitchfork was beyond him. Anyway, wasn't someone else—say, oh, the _Student Council_—in charge of supplies anyway? "You guys know better than to flirt in a supermarket."

Even as Sora's head snapped up with something along the lines of confused befuddlement splashing obviously across those cerulean eyes, Riku glared up at the blond, a light pink spread across that alabaster skin.

"We were _not_—!"

"Anyway, Riku flirts with everyone," Sora added, grabbing Riku's shoulders to stand. Wincing a little at another throb on his knee, he added, "You should've realized his reputation in school by now." Throwing a sly smirk, so uncharacteristic on his face, Sora wheeled out from Riku's grip. "You'll never get the guy of your dreams this way, you know!"

Snorting, as Riku began bantering with his cousin, Roxas rolled his eyes to turn back to the detergents he'd been comparing. It was almost funny, the irony of the entire situation. How Sora never figured himself to be Riku's crush—despite his obvious flirting, those all-telling eyes, and that friggin' _challenge_—was beyond him.

God, maybe he was related to a retard.

Roxas sighed with exasperation, before turning back to his cart. Blue eyes flew open in alarm as something fuzzy and _vibrating_ buzzed on his neck. Whirling around, eyes a beautiful ring of opaque blue and a scream on the verge of his lips, Roxas stared at the gigantic piece of fluff in front of his face.

_"I love you_."

The mechanical voice, oozing with happiness, just asking to be cuddled, echoed throughout the aisle. Deep green eyes smirked from behind the bear, as Roxas released his rage.

"AXEL!"

Laughing, backing away a little as Roxas advanced on him, Axel quickly held the teddy between the two of them, pressing the tummy once more.

_"I love you."_

"Like _fuck_ you do!" Roxas scowled, glaring into those amber-set green eyes. "Scare the shit out of me until I freaking pee on my pants?! _That's_ how you show your 'love'?"

"Aww, but Roxy, don't you think the wiggling was..._nice_?"

Throwing another glare over at the redhead, a sneer clear in his voice, Roxas dumped the box of detergent into the cart to wheel it away from him. "Get the Hell away from me you ugly excuse for a human being."

"Ugly?" Amused, almost enthralled with Roxas' tactics, Axel held the bear before the blond's face and waved it experimentally. "How can you call me ugly, Ro-xy? I'm every girl's best friend and the fluffiest thing in this world."

Making another face, dumping a random box of cereal along with the rest of the stuff, Roxas grabbed the bear only to dump it onto Axel's head. "Stop your conceit. You're just a random bear anyone can buy at any random supermarket." _Where the Hell did Sora and Riku go, anyway?_

"Ooo…" Wincing playfully, Axel reached over for the cart, before he handed the bear to Roxas again. "That hurts. Why do you have to be so mean? Kuma-bear only wanted to give you a kissss..."

Blushing, quickly averting his eyes from the teasing grin plastered on Axel's face, Roxas turned to inspect the nearest pack of window curtains. Fingers gently stroking the soft material that made up the brown bear, his eyes softened as he, despite himself, pressed the tummy.

_"I love you_."

"Sora, Riku."

Kairi's head poked out from the next aisle only to stop when she noticed the scene unfolding before her. Violet eyes narrowed speculatively at the slight blush covering Roxas cheeks, as he stroked a bear he held. Axel, the cunning bastard, had turned his head away from the blond, carefully inspecting the ceiling, with the most gentle of smiles that Kairi had ever seen on his face lilting across those lips.

As far as Kairi knew, gentle was a first for a sexaholic like Axel Akuseru.

And yet, here he was now, hands clutched tightly onto the shopping cart—almost enough to crack the damn metal—as he stared at something just past Roxas' ear, that cute smile of his still curving those lips of his.

_So that's how it is_. Turning, walking deliberately over to where Sora was with Riku, giggling over some random appliance or another, Kairi tapped her best friend's arm. Confused, Sora's blue eyes blinked at Kairi, as he stepped away from Riku.

"What's wrong, Kairi?"

"I thought you said Roxas was straight."

Kairi can practically see the gears working in Sora's head as his brows drew together. Frowning at her in that adorably confused way that made most of the girls in school squeaking in near denial, the brunette reached behind him to punch Riku, as the silver-haired teen reached forward to tickle him.

"He is, Kairi."

"Oh really?" Rolling her eyes a little, because she could see that Sora was _genuinely_ confused, she pulled the two of them along onto the next aisle. Axel and Roxas had moved maybe ten inches from the last time Kairi had checked on them.

"I _hate_ raisins," Roxas was saying as he glared at a box of raisin brand in Axel's outstretched hands. "It's Sora, who likes raisins."

From behind the cans of tomatoes, Sora scowled and muttered, "No. It's DiZ, who likes raisins!"

Axel, completely unaware of their secret audience, turned away from the frown Roxas was currently giving him to replace the box of raisins back onto the shelves. "Okay. Forget the raisins. Unless we're buying them for Sora?"

"No. Sora doesn't like these types of raisins."

"Okay. No raisins. What about oatmeal?"

"Cat-eye, do _you_ like oatmeal?"

The look that Axel threw Roxas nearly had Sora sputtering. Pulling the two boys away from the tomatoes before their friend realize that they've been peeking at them this whole time, Kairi smirked at the incredulity in those blue eyes.

"Straight, Sora? Roxas has Axel wrapped around his pretty little fingers."

"He was stroking a _teddy bear_," was all Sora could manage. Riku, feeling a little sorry for the shell-shocked brunette, gathered him into his arms.

"Do you want an 'I love you' bear, Sora?"

The look Sora threw him was pure venom.

---

Selphie scowled, as she stepped out from the car. Throwing a hand over her eyes to block out the worst of the sunlight, she scrutinized the entire neighborhood for a second, before turning to look at the house in front of her.

The very best she could say about the place was that it was...tidy.

Eyes roved over the small, beige-tiled roof, the low windows, and the teeny flower garden that sat in front of the house. There was no gate. The pathway that led to the house couldn't have been more than just a lane of brutally stepped on grass. The mailbox—a small, cute, thing made of wood and spelled out the name "Honda" in small, messy scrawls—flapped happily in the wind, clanking every now and again.

"Miss, are you sure this is the place?" Her driver asked nervously, as he surveyed the surroundings. After all, his employer would have his _head_ if his precious daughter was mugged or kidnapped—or worse—when she was supposed to be under his care.

"Yea." Waving dismissively, she walked over to where she surmised was the beginning of the Honda property, and frowned when she caught sight of the cap of blond hair gleaming in the sunlight.

"You're drowning them."

Tidus Honda, in the middle of his daydream about Selphie, snapped his head up quickly at the voice from behind him. Twirling around, letting out a quiet little screech as he felt his neck muscles stretch, a free hand shot up towards the pain as baby blue eyes crossed. "Fuck!"

Selphie, feeling the beginnings of a smile twitching at her lips, hardened them as she stepped gingerly onto the property. Eying the utterly drenched petunias, hazel brown eyes twinkled slightly, as she carefully stepped out of the range of the spray.

"The petunias," she pointed, where the nozzle was still pointed. "You're drowning them."

Staring incredulously at the vision before him, briefly wondering if maybe he'd been out in the sun too long, Tidus automatically reached forward to switch the spray off.

"Uh."

Selphie took another cautious step back. "Listen, monkey-boy," she frowned, eyeing the nozzle. "I'm just here to talk to you about the play."

"Oh." Scratching his head a little, damning himself for sounding like such an _imbecile_ when, for the first time ever, Selphie Yutaka voluntarily decided to speak—of her own free will—to Tidus about something that didn't involve her screaming at the top of her lungs. And the best he could manage was an "uh".

Good job, Tidus.

However, a second later, the realization that _Selphie Yutaka_, the princess to the Yutaka fortune, was standing in front of _his_ house on the opposite side of the town, where her three-hundred dollar shoes were slowly—but surely—being muddied up by the soil in _his_ garden, kicked in. And the blond panicked.

"_Selphie_! What the Hell are you doing at my place?"

Hazel eyes narrowed, as another frown marred that beautiful face. Sniffing a little, arms immediately crossing over her chest, Selphie swung her long brown hair back, as she regarded the blond before her. The guy was practically _seething_, he was glaring just that hard. Well, whatever. It's not as though Selphie was here on a social call.

"I looked you up on the registry." Even though she'd never heard of the name "Honda" in the financial world, she'd always figured the blond was one of the relatively well-off kids in school. After all, he hung out with Sora and Riku. Eyes roving around the garden again, stopping before a battered looking swing sitting at one of the tree branches, she swallowed, before turning resolutely back to those icy blue eyes.

"You're in charge of helping Roxas with the play auditions right? I need to hand the script to you." She didn't mention the fact that it would've been more productive to hand it to Roxas himself. Dancing around the mud in the grassy yard, she stepped onto the cemented floor of his one-story home.

"Fine. You can give it to me here." Holding out a muddied hand, almost desperate to keep her from the state inside his house, Tidus tugged the brunette away from his front door. The dishes were still in the sink from yesterday—Tidus had planned to wash them after he'd finished in the garden. The wet laundry was still sitting on the couch, drying. He hadn't _even_ gotten to start sweeping the floor yet.

"I'll take your script here."

Naturally, scowling at the mud in those hands, Selphie huffed. "I came all the way to _your_ house to give the script over to _you_ and you won't let me pass the front lawn?"

_What front lawn?_ Tidus scowled, as his eyes caught onto the mud sticking to those pretty white sandals. The Hashibas had a front lawn—acres and acres of it. The Sugisakis had a front lawn. The Leonharts, the Yutakas, the Misanos—they all had prettily tended lawns with designated paths, flowers, and trees.

The Hondas didn't have a _lawn_. They had a flower garden—a flower garden that just might not pass as a flower garden, one that just messes up designer shoes.

Selphie and her designer shoes, designer bags, hundred dollar shades did not belong in his world of mud, guck, dirty laundry, and unwashed dishes. He knew that, from the first moment he'd met her at the student entrance ceremony, hadn't he? She had stood at the top of the podium next to her Headmaster father, dressed daintily in all white, ribbons flowing from all around her, and had looked just like a princess.

Tidus had been the scholarship student, dressed in clothing, which he'd spent all summer saving up to get.

The fact that she'd gotten dirty the moment she stepped onto the Honda property should tell him something. Headmaster Yutaka would take one look at him and boot him out the Yutaka's pretty front gate. _Stay the Hell away from the princess, pauper_.

"Yea," Tidus shrugged. Selphie had been staring at him, patiently tapping one smudged toe, as she regarded the blond staring off into space. At the answer, eyes snapped back together.

"What?"

"Yea, I'd rather you don't go past my 'lawn'," Tidus repeated, raising a brow. If she'd noticed his emphasis on the word 'lawn', she didn't say anything. Not that anything mattered at this point anyway. "I'll take the script here, Selphie. I'm kind of busy today, in case you didn't notice. I still need to do a couple of things, before I can go and pick up my brothers and sister from their classes. So..."

Trailing off in a way that Tidus knew was _beyond_ rude, the blond resolutely turned away from his crush. After this, Selphie would not only hate him, she'd _despise_ him.

Frowning a bit, having stared at the flowers long enough and still hadn't gotten a scream of rage from Selphie, Tidus turned a little to peek at her reaction. Only to find nothing but a pile of papers sitting by the front step.

Selphie had long since left without a word.

**End Chapter**

**Author's Corner**

Here's the Feb 2007 Update. The "Vulta" chapters used to be one mega-chapter. But it was so long that I decided to crop it into two. For some reason, words haven't been flowing as well lately, so this chapter might have been awkward and a bit strange. It might be that I'll come back to it and edit it at a later date. Maybe march.

Oh yea. The Zemyx drabble that I promised since December is out on the site. No, it won't be posted here. As a note, the fanfic corner might be going through some revamp in the near future. So those who frequent it usually, please be patient. Additionally, some of my older fanfictions would probably be moved onto the site in the near future and will be taken off of fanfiction.

**Next Chapter:  
Chapter Six:** **Vulta, Part Two**  
_Tidus_: God, I hate myself. Why the Hell am I such a...a monkey? Well, it's not like I have the power to hurt Selphie Yutaka anyway. Even though a dirtied shoe of hers can make my heart just about...burst.

**End**

As usual, thanks a bunch for reading! Please take a little time to review!

Greets from,  
Yukisora

**Edited by: Wake-Robin  
Last Checked: February 24, 2007  
**


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